SasoDei Sekkus Skato
by AkatsukiMemberWoolfy
Summary: Deidara is sent to a new school. Kunoichi College...Where all the students are girls...How can Deidara survive? ! Can he get some help from a certain red head with glasses? Pfft, Deidara better hope for a miracle!
1. Meet Me Half Way

**SasoDei – Sekkus Skato - Chapter 1**

**Meet Me Half Way**

"I TOLD YOU, UN!! I'M NOT GOING!!!"

"Oh, you are going!! Be sure of that!!"

"BUT MUM!! I DON'T LIKE GIRLS!!"

"That's the whole reason you're going to this school."

"JUST BECAUSE I'M GAY, UN!?! IT DOESN'T MEAN YOU GOTTA SEND ME TO SOME GIRL SCHOOL!!!"

"Deidara. You are going, and you are going to get a nice girl friend while you're there. Okay?"

"NO!!!"

The women just rolled her eyes and continued to drive the car to the new school. Deidara puffed out his cheeks, knowing that no matter what he said his mother wouldn't turn the car around.

To sum the whole story up, Deidara was gay. He had been expelled from his last school when he had pushed a (straight) boy up against the wall and started to pash him. So now, his mother was sending him to a new school. But not just any school. Kunoichi College. Basically, a school for girls. And only girls.

His mother had persuaded the college to take Deidara in. Deidara wore the school uniform grudgingly.

He wore a light pink blouse which had long sleeve that ended in cuffs. His mother had switched the plain buttons with white dove buttons. They were cute, he loved birds. But the worst thing of all? HE HAD TO WEAR A SKIRT!!! AND NOT A LONG SKIRT EITHER!! IT WAS PRACTICALLY A MINI SKIRT!!! It was red with black diagonal lines and was cotton. 

Deidara might be gay, but he was not the kind to cross dress!!

Deidara was 17 years old, turning 18 soon. He had long golden hair tied back in a messy pony tail, with a hair bang covering his left eye. His eyes were an icy blue and his lips were luscious. He wore white uggboots (the only thing he got too choose) and was staring out the window at the passing scenery.

"I don't want to go, un."

It was the kind of school where you got your own dorm and all that. He looked down to the dove buttons on his wrists. They shone in the sunlight.

"Ah, here it is!!"

Deidara looked out the window at a fancy building which was large with several stories. There was an oval which had a fence running through the centre. On the other side of the large mesh fence was an even larger oval and a building of equal spectacle, though there was quite a lot of graphite sprayed on it. Deidara realised that it wasn't graphite!! It was a complex painting!! It was like the splodges on your wall, stare long enough and you can work out little pictures within them. The car pulled into the parking lot of the clean building.

The car stopped and his mother got out.

"Come on, Dei."

Deidara didn't budge.

She sighed and opened his door. She grabbed his wrist and pulled him out of the car. Deidara struggled but was no match for a mother of 4. She practically dragged him into the building. They were greeted by the school principal.

"Greetings, I am Tsunade. Welcome to Kunoichi College."

Deidara's mother talked with the principal, holding tight onto his wrist so he couldn't bolt for the door.

Deidara was mumbling something about being 17 and being able to make his own life decisions.

"Thank you, Ma'am."

Deidara's mum let go of his wrist. He didn't bother to run away, where would he go?

-

"So Miss Iwa-"

"I'm a GUY, un!!!"

Tsunade rolled her eyes.

"Whatever Gay Boy, anyway, this is the cafeteria. This is the ladies toilets…Your lucky that we do have a small male's toilet here for special cases like yours."

Deidara brightened up.

"There are other guys here, un!?"

"Nope!!"

Deidara pouted. Dammit.

"Where is everyone?"

"Outside on the oval probably."

Deidara nodded.

She lead him up two flights of stairs and too a white door.

"And this is your room. I can assume you won't rape your room mate?"

Deidara snorted.

"As if I would, un!!"

"Good."

She handed Deidara a key with a rose keychain which read '94'.

"You can go out to play after you unpack a bit. Dinner is at 7 sharp."

Deidara nodded and Tsunade left. He sighed and unlocked the door. He switched on the light and looked around. There were two single beds, one each side of the room. Both had pink sheets. Of course. Deidara took a random guess and put his suitcase on the bed which had a little Welcome card on it. Cute…Sorta…

The room was painted a dark blue, with one white wall. There was a small white stereo with an iPod dock. The iPod touch was on pause, on the screen was the Black Eyed Peas song 'Meet Me Half Way'.

He looked out at the window. He had a view of the oval. On one side of the fence were the girls. They wore the same uniform as Deidara did and seemed to be as far away from the fence as possible!! Except for one girl with blue hair, whom was chatting with a group of boys (who were on the other side of the fence)…Wait…BOYS!?!

Deidara exited the bedroom, making sure to lock the door and attach the keychain to his skirt with a safety pin attached to the key.

He explored the school, searching for a way to get outside. SUCCESS!! He went out the large set of doors, greeted by a cool wind hitting his face. He looked around the lush lawn. Some girls had stopped playing and were looking at him. He ignored them and started for the blue haired girl.

Some of the girls were calling him over but he ignored them. Stupid girls, didn't know a guy when they saw one!!

He noticed that some of the guys beyond the fence had noticed him. He saw one with orange hair speak to the girl. She turned around and looked at Deidara.

"Hey!! You new?" She then seemed to notice the rose key chain. "Hey!! You're my new room mate!!"

Deidara walked up to the fence, giving the girl a smile. She seemed nice enough. He then looked at the guys. There were 7 of them. Well, there were more. Everyone beyond the fence was a guy. They wore long black pants and red shirts.

"Hey Girly, what's your fucking name?"

Deidara glared at the silver haired boy.

"I'm a GUY, un!! And it's Deidara."

They all stared at him.

"Wait…YOU'RE A GUY!?!"

Deidara glared.

"Yes I am, un."

One whom wore a mask stepped forward.

"I'm Kakuzu. So what are you doing in the girl's school…And wearing a skirt?"

Deidara pouted.

"I'm gay, so mum sent me here to try and straighten me out, un."

"Ouch. Harsh mum but I don't think putting you in a skirt was the best option. My mum doesn't care that I'm gay."

Deidara blinked at the boys.

"You're gay?"

"All of us are!! Well, except Pein." The blue skinned boy pointed to the orange haired one.

"I'm Pein. Allow me to introduce you to the group, Deidara. That's Kakuzu, as you already know. That's Itachi. That's Kisame. That's Tob-"

"TOBI IS A GOOD BOY!!"

There was a long silence. A cricket could be heard chirping in the distance.

"…Yes…Anyway, that's Zetsu. And that's Hidan. I wonder if Sa-"

"Do you have art, un?" If it has both Gay (hot) boys and art, then I'm so going to commit homicide, un.

"Na. We do sport instead. It's your school that has art." PHEW!!!

"Oh, un…Then how-"

"Attention." The intercom spoke out. "All girls whom wish to partake in art today please make your way to the Art room. That is all."

"ART IS A BANG, UN!!" They all blinked at him. He blushed from embarrassment. "Sorry, un…Habit…"

"…Sasori would just hate you…"

Deidara quirked an eyebrow.

"Sasori? Sounds like a bastard, un!!"

"Yeah, he is, but a Sexy Bastard none the less."

"Well, Deidara, you wanna go to art?"

"FUCK YEAH, UN!!"

"Cya sweetie!!" Konan waved goodbye to her boy friend and started towards the building. Deidara waved back at them and followed after Konan.

-

Woot X3 First Chappy X3 Hope you likey so far. I like High School fics. I trying to make it different that School of Freaks =.=

I just realised XD This is the first SasoDei story I've written where Sasori isn't in the first chapter!!!

The titles of the chapters are going to be songs from my iPod, and somewhere in the chapter I will have a reference with it Eg- iPod, Singing, Humming, etc

Oh, here is a funny thing X3 The title, Sekkus Skato…It means 'Sex Skirt' in Japanese XD (Well according to my Japanese dictionary it does =.= ) Lolz X3 He gotta wear a skirt!!

Believe it or not, I've already written up to chapter 7 of this X3 I usually like getting a head start X3 But still, one chapter a day

As long as you Review/Comment, of course!!


	2. Time of Dying

**SasoDei – Sekkus Skato – Chapter 2**

**Time of Dying**

Konan and Deidara were walking to the art room. A few other girls were walking to the room as well, though the majority stayed on the oval.

"So, you're really a guy?"

Deidara gave her an unamused look. He lifted up his shirt.

"See? No breasts, un."

He put his shirt back down. Konan nodded.

"I see…What bout a strip tease?"

"Don't push it, un."

They both giggled.

"You're going to like art, I can tell you that."

"I always like art, un."

She gave him an evil smirk.

"Well lets just say, you wont be so much as interested in 'art' as you will be Saso-"

They entered the art room. All the tables were filled, except for the one in the exact centre. There at the table sat a red head, working on a drawing of something. Deidara's eye's widened.

"GUY, UN!!!"

Before Deidara could even think he was flying through the air.

GLOMP!!

Deidara and the red head fell to the ground. Deidara started laying kisses all over his flawless face.

"WOAH WOAH WOAH!!!" the boy beneath him pushed Deidara's face away from his own. When Deidara stopped trying to kiss him he pulled his hand away. "Listen, I'm sorry, girlie, but I just don't swing that way."

"I'm a GUY, un!!"

The red head blinked up at him.

"Oh, well, that's okay then."

To Deidara's shock, the red head pressed his lips to the blonde's fiercely. After a millisecond Deidara kissed back eagerly. He felt a pair of teeth nibble on his lips. He opened his mouth to the red head without a second thought. He felt the boy's tongue enter his mouth and brush up against his own. Deidara also felt a hand slip under his skirt and a hand grope his ass.

He moaned into the kiss, wanting more.

"MR AKASUNA AND MISS IWA!!!!"

Deidara grudgingly pulled away from the sweet lips.

"I'm a GUY, un!!"

"Sensei, can't you give us 5 minutes?"

"GET OFF OF EACH OTHER NOW!!!"

Deidara pouted and got off of the red head, helping him up off the ground. He looked around at the others girls who were staring at them. Some had disapproving looks, though the most of them had nose bleeds, including Konan. Deidara ignored them

"Ah, sorry bout that, un…" To his shock the red head pressed his lips to Deidara's once more.

"What's your name?"

"Iwa Deidara. You, un?"

The red head gave a smirk.

"My name is Akasuna. Akasuna Gaara."

(Predictable my ass)

-

Other than that Art hadn't been very dramatic. Afterwards he had said good bye to Gaara and gone to have dinner with Konan. The dinner was okay; at least it was better than what his mother made!!

"Gaara is hot, un~"

Konan smirked at him.

"You should so ask him out. I reckon that he likes you."

Deidara poked at his mashed potato dreamily.

"I like him as well, un~" Deidara snapped out of his dreamy state. "But it's way too early to be going out with the guy!! I just met him 2 hours ago, un!!"

"Well, you two are the only gay guys around since I can't really count Sas-"

"Why was he there anyway, un?"

Konan blinked.

"The boys do sport. Gaara's cousin stood up to the school system, and Gaara backed him up. Now the boys can come here to do some classes if they want to. Gaara only does Art, but his cousin, Saso-"

"Hey wait, un…the guys can come here any time? Wouldn't you think they would be all over the girls?"

Konan snorted.

"Oh PLEASE!! Most the guys are gay. There are only 3 straight ones I can think of, including Pein of course. There are even _less_ Bisexuals!!"

Deidara whacked his head against the table.

"Why the hell did my mum not send me there, un?"

Konan giggled.

"Cheer up, Dei."

-

They were now walking down the hallway, to their room. Deidara was looking around.

"And this is the library."

"Cool, un!!"

Deidara looked through the glass doors and stopped.

"What is it?"

"Oh, ah, nothing, un. You go on ahead; I thought I saw a book I liked."

"Well, okay, Dei. Don't be out too late."

Deidara gave her a cheery nod and entered the library. The library was almost empty except for one person.

It was pretty. The floor was a creamy white carpet, which suited the wooden bookshelves. At one of the tables, back faced to Deidara, sat a red head reading a fairly large novel.

Deidara smirked. Oh Gaara was going to be so surprised!! He crept up behind the distracted red head.

He swiftly slipped between him and the book, sitting in his lap. Deidara pressed his lips to the others pair, closing his eyes.

The kiss was oddly gentle, intoxicating, addicting.

Deidara was suddenly pushed out of the red head's lap and onto the floor. He blinked and looked up at the red head that was staring down at him with a somewhat horrified expression. Deidara noticed that he was wearing a pair of glasses which had thin black wire frames. They looked sexy.

"I hate to break this to you, Dude, I might be from Shinobi Institute, but I actually _don't_ swing that way."

"I'm a GU- Hey wait, un…Did you just call me 'Dude'?"

The red head moved his hand to his glasses, moving them down a little so he could look over the lenses at Deidara.

"A cross dresser you might be, but a girl you ain't."

Deidara stared up into the boy's eyes in awe. They were a chocolaty brown.

Whoops, not Gaara.

Deidara smiled up at him, tears running down his face. He suddenly lunged at the boy's feet.

"FINALLY SOMEONE WHO KNOWS A GUY WHEN THEY SEE ONE, UN!!!"

The red head kicked him off. They huffed and calmly returned to sitting in the chair.

"If you could please stop trying to rape me? Thank you. Anyway, may I ask why the hell you are going around kissing straight guys?"

Deidara blushed.

"W-W-Well, I…I thought you w-were someone el-else, un…"

He sheepishly twiddled his fingers. The red head rolled his muddy eyes.

"Let me guess. You thought I was my cousin, Gaara, didn't you?"

Deidara's face turned a darker red. The boy muttered a little about red heads and relatives.

Deidara looked the boy up and down. He wore the Shinobi Institute outfit, though he had all except the very top button done up (aside from all the other guys whom wore their shirt with most the buttons undone). His hair was actually about a shade or two darker than Gaara's and was a little bit longer. His features were stern, though incredibly sexy. He looked youthful, though at the same time about Deidara's age, probably 18. He was masculine though at the same time appeared so gentle. Contradicting, much? Deidara noted that the button on his shirt pen pocket was a red scorpion.

"I'm Iwa Deidara, by the way, un…"

"Yeah, I'm Akasuna Sasori."

Deidara twiddled his fingers.

"Ah, sorry bout before…"

"It's okay. Listen, I'm not going to ask why you kissed me. I'm not going to ask what the hell you are doing in a girl's school uniform. I'm not even going to ask why the fuck you are wearing a skirt. But can I ask one thing?"

"Ah, sure, I guess, un."

"What room are you in?"

Deidara blinked.

"Room 94, with Konan. Why you ask, un?"

Sasori smirked. He stood up from the chair and picked up his book, slamming it shut. He took his sexy glasses off with his one free hand and slipped them into his pen pocket. Deidara blinked at the muddy brown eyes.

"Well, _Brat_. I now know which room to _avoid_."

And with that, Sasori turned and left, starting to sing the song 'Time of Dying' by Three Days Grace softly.

Deidara stared in shock as the figure disappeared out the glass doors.

So he was Sasori, huh?

Yep. Defiantly. A. Bastard.

-

I enjoyed planning out this chapter X3 I tricked you with Gaara, didn't I? X3 Heh, I am evil

I have a weird fetish of Sasori wearing thin wire glasses X3 Sexy

My fave characterisation in this story (including in later chapters) is Sasori X3 He is funny


	3. I Kissed a Boy

**SasoDei - Sekkus Skato – Chapter 3**

**I Kissed a Boy**

"No WAY!!!! You KISSED Akasuna SASORI!?!"

Deidara cuddled his pink pillow close.

"So what, un? He wasn't such a good kisser anyway." Lie.

Konan smirked and picked up her iPod. She switched the song to 'I Kissed a Boy' by Cobra Starship.

"Yeah but…SASORI!! HE IS LIKE ONE OF THE SEXIEST GUYS ON THE PLANET!!! Plus he is straight!!"

Deidara rolled his eyes.

"For a straight guy he is a real _ass_, un. He called be 'Brat'!! It's so unfair. Why are the pretty one's always bastards, un?"

Konan shrugged.

"Genetics?"

Deidara pouted.

"Yeah, well, he is related to Gaara, un, so that means that it isn't genetics."

"Do you wanna know what I heard about Sasori?" Deidara nodded. "I heard that when he was little his parents were murdered."

Deidara gasped.

"That's _horrible_, un!!"

Konan nodded.

"Yeah. He is in some of my classes. He would rather have his classes here for some reason, probably likes being around all the girls…Guess he is going to be pretty pissed that you're here then."

Deidara gave a huff.

"Like _I _would _ever _be interested in that _bastard,_ un!!"

Konan shrugged. Deidara threw his pillow at her. They started to laugh and began a (very manly) pillow fight.

Deidara was happy that Konan was his room mate, she was cool and wasn't snobby. Unlike a _certain_ straight red head!!

-

"Well, Miss Iwa, this is your time table."

"I'm a GUY, un!! And thanks."

Deidara took the slip of paper and read over it. Let's see…

Art was at 5, as it had been yesterday. Course the subject was optional. The two options for that period were Art and Sport.

First period was…English!!

Deidara looked at his blue (stylish) watch. He then looked at the time the period began.

…

SHIT!!

Deidara started running. HE WAS LATE!!! He swiftly made it through the corridors and too the class it read on the time table. Room 2E.

He burst into the room panting. The girls all looked at him. The teacher was staring at him. A smirk spread across the teacher's soft…slim…sexy face as he looked at Deidara through the super sexy thin framed glasses.

"So nice of you too join us, _Brat_. Take your seat. At the back please, I'm already sick of looking at you."

Deidara stared. WHAT THE FUCK!?! SASORI!?!

Sasori was holding a book open. Deidara recognised it at the one from yesterday.

"Why the hell are you the teacher, un!?!"

Sasori's smirk faded and he blinked lazily at the blonde. His brown eyes snaked up and down Deidara, examining him.

"I am the substitute until Ms Shizune returns. Now, don't argue with your Master, Brat. Go take your seat or I will have no choice but to give you a detention."

Deidara puffed out his cheeks and made his way to the back of the class. He mumbled under his breath.

"Master my ass, un." Something connected with the back of Deidara's head. Deidara gave a pained noise and rubbed his sore skull. He glared at Sasori, whom had thrown the white board eraser.

"I heard that, Brat. Detention."

Deidara sighed angrily.

"OH SCREW THIS, UN!!"

Deidara dropped his books on the floor and spun around. He marched up to Sasori. There was a sharp crack in the air as Deidara slapped him hard across the face.

"I HATE you, you GOD damn SEXY bastard!! I HOPE YOU BECOME TRUE ART, UN!!"

And with that Deidara marched out the classroom, slamming the door hard behind him.

A few seconds later the door opened again.

"AND BY TRUE ART I MEAN FLEETING!!!"

Slam.

Sasori rubbed his red cheek, annoyed.

"Stupi-" Wait…Had the kid said something about true art being fleeting? And had the kid just called him sexy? The hell?

Note to self- Ask Brat later.

He turned back to the shocked and giggling girls.

"Which, students, shows you the reason I am not gay."

-

Deidara pouted.

Not like he wanted to come to this school anyway, so who cares if he got expelled?! Well, besides his mum, but who really cares about her anyway? His sisters Ino, Woolfy and Kurotsuchi were all straight. So what!?! Ino was a slut. Woolfy was immature. Kuro was a tom boy. But you don't see them being dragged away to some school with all spiffy girls, really serious people or girly girls, do you!?!

Spiffy…Who even SAYS that any more!?!

Grrr, lost train of thought…

Oh yeah!!

Sasori.

Fucking bastard!!

He heard the bell ring out, signalling end of period 2 and the beginning of recess. Deidara closed his eyes to try and block out the world.

-

Deidara woke up with a sharp pain in his side. He grunted and rolled over.

"I dun't wanna get up yet, Mummy, un!!!"

"Yep, you are definitely gay, Brat."

Deidara's eyes flashed open at the damn annoying…sexy…monotone.

"What do _you_ want, un?"

He rolled back on his back, grimacing at the pain from where Sasori had kicked him.

"I already told you. You have a detention."

"Screw you, un."

Sasori snorted.

"Only in your dreams, Brat. Now either come now, or I'm cancelling art for the rest of the week."

Deidara opened his eyes faintly in a glare.

"You're bluffing, un."

Sasori smirked.

"Let's just say that I'm _Good Friends _with the art teacher."

Deidara sighed and sat up.

"Fine, bastard."

Sasori put his hand out to help him up. Deidara went to take it but Sasori pulled it away at the last second.

"Thought you had a friend there, didn't ya, Brat?"

Deidara glared/pouted, standing up.

"You're a bastard, un."

Sasori smirked.

"See, Brat? Even without being in the whole class you have already learned something!!"

Before Deidara could reply, Sasori had turned and started walking. Deidara followed behind, pouting.

-

They both sat in the classroom called J5.

Sasori sat at the teachers desk, leaning back in the chair, feet on the table, reading a book.

Deidara read the title. 'Shade's Children'.

"You're a fan of Garth Nix, un?"

"Yeah, he is cool. You?"

"His Keys to the Kingdom series kicks ass, un. I like the ending of Lord Sunday, especially Arthur's new name."

"New name?"

Deidara chuckled.

"You haven't read it, have you?"

Sasori turned the page in his book.

"I've read up to Superior Saturday. Lord Sunday is on my 'to do' list."

"Oh, and Sasori. I know just how 'Innocent' Shade's Children is." When Deidara said Innocent, he made a sarcastic gesture.

"You would never win the Lottery, Brat."

Deidara was about to argue when a familiar voice called out.

"STOP TALKING ABOUT GARTH NIX AND HAVE SEX!!!"

Both boys looked to the window at a girl with blonde hair and a blue head band.

"WOOLFY!?!"

Deidara stared at his sister. WHAT THE HELL WAS SHE DOING HERE!?! And why the HELL was she hanging from the window ledge?

"Hey Dei, Mum dropped me off this morning. I heard about your little rebellion in English. WHATCHA GOT AGAINST LITERATURE!?!"

Sasori blinked lazily at the girl.

"You do realise that this classroom is on the fourth story?"

"Yeah…About that…Can someone help me in?"

Deidara growled and stood up, marching over to the window. Instead of helping her inside, he pushed her off the ledge. Of course Woolfy couldn't die, since the author wouldn't allow that, so a random unimportant character managed to brake her fall. She pouted up at Deidara, the random beneath her crying out in pain for an ambulance.

"I AM NOT HAVING SEX WITH THE FUCKING SEXY BASTARD, UN!!! EVEN THOUGH HIS SEXY BODY WOULD FEEL SO GOOD AGAINST MINE AS HE DROVE INTO ME, SLAMMING INTO MY SWEET SPOT WITH ALL HIS FORCE!! MAKING ME CRY OUT HIS NAME IN PURE ECSTASY, UN!! BEGGING FOR HIM TO THRUST HARDER AND FASTER INTO MY NICE TIGHT HOLE!! AND-"

Deidara felt a hand clamp over his mouth.

"Okay, Brat, before you give yourself an erection."

Deidara blinked, realising what the hell he had just shouted out the window for the world to hear. His face turned bright pink.

Deidara pulled his hand away.

"Speaking of erection…be right back, un!!"

Deidara practically ran out the door. Sasori blinked after him. What the fuck was WRONG with that boy!?!

-

Poor Deidara!!! XD

Sozzy bout having Woolfy being in it, Comic Relief (And Aokira makes a small appearance as well, sozzy ^-^")

Lolz X3 Sasori is substitute for English XD

Oh 'Good Friends' with the art teacher? You will find out what he means by that in chapter 5 =3

Deidara gets quite a few detentions XD Of course your just going to have to wait to see if anything happens within these X3 (I already know the answer to that X3 )

I love the song I Kissed A Boy by Cobra Starship XD I got it on my iPod X3 All the chapter titles are songs from my iPod actually X3 Lolz

Anyway, review please ^-^

HAPPY EASTER!!!


	4. Master of the House

**SasoDei – Sekkus Skato – Chapter 4**

**Master of the House**

When Deidara entered the room once more, Sasori was sitting at the teacher's desk, exact same position as before.

He turned a page, the light shining off his god damn sexy glasses.

"Next time, please keep me out of your sexual fantasies, Brat."

"Ah, sure, un."

Deidara blushed as he sat back down in his seat.

They just sat in silence, Deidara plotting the demise of his sisters.

The bell suddenly rang out. Sasori looked at the clock briefly before slamming the book shut with a snap. He got up, taking his glasses off and slipping them into his pocket. Sasori sat down in the seat next to Deidara's.

"Time table, Brat." Sasori held out his hand. Deidara blinked before passing the paper to Sasori.

The red head scanned over the sheet, cursing beneath his breath.

"Same as me. I don't know what's worse, a school full of guys, or you…" Sasori tapped his chin softly in thought. "Hard decision, but I gotta go with you being worse. Of course, there is less chance of you raping me, since I heard your little fantasy. Shall I call you Uke from now on, Brat?"

Deidara's face flushed and he snatched his time table back.

"Oh shut it, un!!"

The door opened. A lady walked into the room. She wore a creamy yellow jacket and had largish breasts. She wore a mesh shirt and a pair of denim (very) short shorts. She closed the door and looked from Sasori to Deidara.

"Konnichiwa Sasori-San…" She then looked at Deidara. "Onamae wan an des ka?" Deidara just blinked at her. A voice suddenly whispered in his ear.

"_Tell her Watashi no namae wa gaki des_."

"Watashi no namae wa gaki des, un?"

The teacher blinked at him and burst out laughing.

"BRAT!?! YOUR NAME IS BRAT!?!"

Deidara flushed and shot the smirking Sasori a glare.

"No, un. My name is Deidara."

"Baka."

The teacher sniggered.

"Konnichiwa Deidara-Chan. My name is Anko sensei. So Deidara, is Sasori your 'Danna'?"

Sasori gave a horrified expression.

"What meaning?"

Anko looked at Sasori.

"Well I certainly don't mean Husband!!"

"WAIT!!! DANNA MEANS HUSBAND, UN!?!"

"Yep, I'm his Danna, though not as in husband."

"Good then, now-"

"Wait, WHAT!?! WHAT THE FUCK DOES DANNA MEAN!?!"

"It means Master."

"YOU'RE NOT MY MASTER, UN!!!"

Sasori gave a smirk.

"Every boy who is in this school, their ass automatically belongs to me."

Deidara blinked at him, before giving him an unamused expression.

"And you claim to be straight, un?"

Sasori glared at him.

"So it is settled, kiddoes!! Deidara, you are to call Sasori 'Sasori Danna', and Sasori, you are to call Deidara…"

"Gaki?"

Anko smirked.

"Dei-Chan!!"

It was Sasori's turn to flush. He glared and mumbled poisonous curses beneath his breath.

Deidara suddenly stood up.

"Wait, un…NO WAY AM I CALLING HIM-"

"Sit down, Dei-_Chan_."

"Yes, Sasori Danna, un."

Deidara sat back down quickly.

Sasori chuckled and Anko bust out laughing.

"YOU REALLY GOT HIM WRAPPED AROUND YOUR FINGER, DON'T YOU SASORI-SAN!?!"

Deidara flushed crimson.

"OH SCREW YOU BOTH, UN!!!"

Deidara stood up from the desk and tried to walk to the door. He found he couldn't though. He looked down at his ankles to see that they were hand cuffed to the chair legs. He flushed deeper and looked at Sasori. He was looking into the distance, twirling a key around his index finger.

"I took the liberty of hand cuffing you to the seat, _Brat_."

Deidara blinked.

Oh GREAT!!! Now only was he SEXY, he was also good with HAND CUFFS!!!

Deidara pouted and sat back down.

"Okay, Bishies, back to business!! Deidara, welcome to Japanese for guys!!!"

Deidara looked around noticing that he and Sasori were the only students.

Just great. Just FUCKING great!!

-

"You should be happy to have classes with me, Brat."

"Well, news flash, I'm not, un!!"

Sasori smirked.

"Whatever gay boy."

Deidara puffed out his cheeks.

"Later."

Sasori suddenly disappeared. Deidara mumbled to himself.

"Bastard, un."

"HEY DEI!!!"

Deidara looked to see Konan waving at him. He gave a small wave back.

"What's next, un?"

"Home economics."

"Cool, un."

-

Deidara walked into the cooking class room. Unlike Japanese there were girls.

"Ah, Miss Iwa!!"

"I'm a GUY, un!!!"

The teacher smirked knowingly down at him.

"Anyway, I am Ms Aokira." The teacher had long purple hair. She looked like an older version of Woolfy!! Her eyes were coal black and she seemed to be fairly flat chested. "Let's see…Ah, Akasuna needs a partner!! AKASUNA!!"

Deidara held his breath. Please be Gaara. Please be Gaara. PLEASE be GAARA!!!

"Hello there, Dei-_Chan_."

Deidara pouted.

"Hello Sasori Danna, un."

Why did the world love to ruin his many hopes and dreams so damn much?!

"Sasori, you will be Deidara's partner in Home Ec, since you are the only one with out a partner."

"Do I have to, Ao? He annoys the hell out of me."

Aokira smirked rather sadistically down at them.

"Yes you do. It amuses me. Plus you provide Comic Relief with your constant bad mouthing of Deidara, and it makes the readers have more hope for SasoDei than GaarDei."

"Oh please, Ao, Gaara hasn't even appeared since chapter 2!! Oh, and I'm straight."

"I'm sure he is bound to re enter the plot sometime or other."

"I don't think so."

Deidara blinked at them both.

"Can we just skip this 'conversation'? I have no idea what the fuck you two are talking about, un."

Aokira rolled her eyes.

"Whatever. You are in kitchen area 3. Today you are making Lemon Tarts."

Deidara pulled on a pink apron (wondering where the hell Sasori got his black one from) and they both started to cook.

As they cooked, Sasori started to hum the tune 'Master of the House' from Les Miserables.

AND THE BASTARD CLAIMED TO BE STRAIGHT!?!

-

Lolz XD Sasori and Aokira start talking bout the plot XD

Thanx to my Lonely Planet Japanese Phrase Book X3 Lolz

Lolz X3 I love Lemon Tarts

Sozzy bout having a few OCs in it, they wont be very large roles ^-^"

Anyway, yeah X3

Review please


	5. Public Affair

**SasoDei - Sekkus Skato – Chapter 5**

**Public Affair**

Deidara bit into the Lemon tart as he walked to the Cafeteria, realising he actually hadn't eaten since dinner the night before. Not bad…Hope Sasori hadn't slipped rat poison into it…

He looked around the hallway. The only girls who he knew were his sisters (which his mother had decided to enrol as well. Joy.), Konan, and a girl called Fushigijo Tora.

"Hey Dei!! Whatcha got there?"

Deidara swallowed the food before speaking.

"Hey Fushi, un. Lemon tart, made it in home economics."

"Aweasome!! Lemons are nice."

"Indeed, un!! Hey, next is art!!"

"Someone's got a crush on Gaara!!"

Deidara blushed.

They both went into the cafeteria, looking for Konan and something to eat.

-

(Warning- Completely irrelevant Comic relief X3 ) Outside the school, the random whom Woolfy had landed on was still screaming.

"WHY DOESN'T SOMEONE HELP ME!?!"

Sasori looked out the window of his class room.

"Will you please _shut up_?! I'm trying to teach this student a _very_ important life lesson!!"

Sasori randomly threw a girl's shoe at them to try and shut them up. It hit them on the head and they started crying out even louder.

"Damn, must have hit the volume button."

Sasori sighed and closed to the window.

"SIR!! THAT WAS _MY SHOE_!!"

Sasori blinked at the girl whom he had been talking to about her latest assessment.

"I confused it for a shoe phone."

"THAT ISN'T THE SHOE PHONE!! THE RIGHT ONE IS THE SHOE PHONE!!"

Sasori blinked at her and shrugged. He sat back in his seat and showed her her assessment which had an F stamped on it.

"How many times do I have to tell you people? Eternal is not the same thing as Internal!! Got it?"

(That was comic relief ((Since this story is for mostly Humour purposes)) and had absolutely nothing to do with the plot. Speaking of plot, let's get back to it.)

-

"So, Deidara, news around the schools is that you totally pashed Gaara yesterday."

Deidara blushed dreamily.

"Yeah, un~"

Deidara sat down on the grass, looking at the Akatsuki through the fence.

"Not only THAT!! He got to kiss SASORI as WELL!!"

Deidara shot Konan a glare.

The guys beyond the fence stared at Deidara in a stunned silence.

"Y-You kissed that fucking demigod!?!" Hidan gaped at him. "DUDE!!! HE IS LIKE THE MOST FUCKING SEXIEST GUY IN THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD!!! Plus, HE IS FUCKING STRAIGHT!!"

"It was an accident, un…I thought he was Gaara…"

"A common mix up," Itachi noted. "they are cousins after all. From behind they look nearly identical."

"Yeah, un…But the glasses!?! I THOUGHT GLASSES WERE SUPPOSED TO MAKE PEOPLE LOOK NERDY!! BUT THEY MAKE HIM LIKE 100 TIMES SEXIER (if that were even possible)!!"

All the guys of Akatsuki (aside from Pein) gave dreamy expressions. Deidara gave a pout.

"Don't know, he is just that kind of person who you can slap into the most ridiculous outfit you could think of, and he would still have a million and 2 stalkers."

Deidara sighed.

"He might be sexy, but he is a bastard, un."

Pein just shrugged.

"Attention." The intercom spoke out. "All girls whom wish to partake in art today please make your way to the Art room. That is all."

"ART IS A BANG, UN!!"

Pein have him an unamused look.

"You're going to say that every time that announcement comes on, aren't you?"

"DAMN STRAIGHT, UN!!!"

Konan giggled.

"If only you were 'Damn Straight'!!"

Deidara smiled sheepishly and they both made their way to art class, both starting to sing the song 'Public Affair' by Jessica Simpson.

-

"Hey Gaara-Kun!!"

Deidara sat down in the seat next to Gaara, Konan sitting opposite side.

Gaara smirked at him.

"I liked yesterday's greeting a lot more."

Deidara smirked back and slipped into Gaara's lap, locking lips with him. He wrapped his arms around the red head's neck. For some reason the kiss didn't feel as good as it had yesterday. He remembered the addicting feeling he had gotten when he had accidentally kissed Sasori. Bitter, Toxic and Addicting, like a drug…

"If you two could possibly stop swapping salvia?"

Deidara pulled away from the kiss and stared at the teacher. Oh FUCK!!!

Deidara gave a pout and mumbled.

"What the hell are you doing teaching art, un?!"

"My job, actually. Now. Please get off of my cousin so we can begin."

Deidara pouted once more.

"Yes, Sasori Danna, un."

Deidara slipped out of Gaara's lap and into his own seat once more, continuing to pout. Gaara quirked a (non existent) eye brow at Deidara.

"Danna?"

"Anko-Sensei is making me call him that, un."

He gave an unconvinced nod.

"Now, students," Sasori started writing on the chalk board. "as you all should know, true art is-"

"FLEETING, UN!!"

Sasori immediately stopped writing. He shot Deidara a glare over his shoulder. He then went back to writing.

"Eternal."

Deidara burst out laughing.

"ETERNAL, UN!?! ART IS FLEETING YA BASTARD!!"

Sasori smirked.

"Well, Dei-_chan_, I guess I just gotta give you another detention after class."

Deidara gaped.

"YOU CAN'T GIVE ME A DETENTION JUST BECAUSE I DON'T AGREE WITH YOU, UN!!!"

Sasori smirked and folded his arms.

"I just did, _Brat_. After class, in the library."

Deidara pouted and hit his head on the desk.

-

"So what's the deal with you, un? You're the art teacher as well?"

Sasori looked at Deidara from over the top of his book.

"Not 'as well'. I _am_ the art teacher. I occasionally substitute classes."

"How old are you anyway, un?"

Sasori smirked.

"18. You?"

"17, un."

"Good to hear, minor."

Sasori's eyes flicked back to his book.

Deidara sighed.

"Can I go read a book, un?"

"I guess."

Deidara stood up and moved to the book shelves. He ran his hand along the books, looking for one that interested him.

He finally picked out a small book. The spine read Ultimate Deltora Quiz Book. The cover was 3D, with dragons flying around the title. At the bottom of the novel it read 'DELTORA QUEST'. He knew that the series was written by Emily Rodda, since he had read them all.

He walked back to the table. He sat down opposite to Sasori and opened the book, starting to read.

"You've read Deltora Quest?"

"Yeah, un."

"It's a good series, good plot twists."

"Yeah."

They both continued to read on in silence, Deidara continuously flipping to the back of the book to see if he had answered correctly.

After a bit the bell rang, signalling dinner. Sasori looked up at the library clock.

"Well, Brat, detention is up."

"Can't talk. Reading, un."

Sasori quirked an eyebrow at the blonde. He shrugged it off and continued to read Shade's Children. He was up to the part where Gold Eye and Ninde were getting drowned by two Myrmidons.

-

Sasori closed the book and put his glasses into his pocket. Good ending. He looked at the clock to see that it was 11. He quirked an eyebrow.

God he was a slow reader.

He looked over at Deidara. Deidara was slumped over the book he had been reading, asleep. Sasori rolled his eyes. Stupid Brat.

He sighed and stood up, managing to slip the quiz book from beneath Deidara without waking him up. He placed both library books back on the shelf and looked back at Deidara.

Wake him up or leave him here?

Let's see…The brat would be pretty pissed off either way. He sighed. He was tired and really wasn't in the mood to have Deidara yelling at him.

He walked over to the brat, whom seemed to be a fairly deep sleeper, pulling his chair out. He pulled the blonde onto his back and straightened up. Deidara wrapped his arms around Sasori's neck and nuzzled his face into the back of Sasori, still asleep. Sasori resisted the urge to drop the blonde.

Stupid Brat. Sasori walked down the deserted hallway…Well, nearly deserted.

"Sasori?"

Sasori turned around, looing at the red head who had addressed him.

"Hey Gaara."

Gaara blinked at him.

"What are you doing with Deidara?"

"The idiot fell asleep in detention and I'm just not in the mood to have him waking the entire school up."

"Sasori." Gaara gave a soft glare. "His ass. Belongs. To me."

Sasori snorted.

"_Please_. You can keep his ass. Like I would ever want it?"

Gaara nodded.

"Good. Well, I gotta go. See ya, Cuz."

"See ya Gaara."

Sasori turned and continued to walk to room 94. He heard Gaara's footsteps exiting the building and the door closing behind him.

"He's scary sometimes, un."

Sasori looked over his shoulder at the sleepy face of Deidara.

"You're awake?"

"Yeah, un. You woke me up when you moved my chair back."

"And it took you this long to tell me?"

"I was sleepy, un."

"Well, now that you're awake…"

Sasori let go of Deidara, causing the blonde to slip from his back and hit the floor.

"Ah!! Bastard, un!!"

Deidara glared up at him, but Sasori had already started walking away.

"Later, Brat…I mean Dei-_Chan_~"

Deidara blinked at Sasori as the red head disappeared into the darkness. Deidara pouted. He looked around, noticing that he was right outside his door.

He stood up, flattening his skirt out and opening the door. The lights were off and Konan was asleep. Deidara closed the door quietly behind him and snuck into their private bathroom, grabbing a pair of pyjamas.

He closed the door and looked in the mirror. He stared into his reflection. His face was dusted red with a soft blush which he hadn't even noticed.

"Oh my God, un…I've fallen in love with that fucking bastard!!"

-

Deidara has fallen in love with Saso!! But Gaara wants Deidara!! And Saso is straight!!

Complicated X3 Woot

I like the beginning of the next chappy, it is the ending of this chap (from when Dei wakes up) except switching point of views!! Lolz X3

Review/Comment!!


	6. Fix You

**SasoDei – Sekkus Skato – Chapter 6**

**Fix You**

(A/N The next part is the ending of the last chapter but switching POV)

Deidara felt his chair being pulled away from the table as he regained consciousness. He was about to open his eyes, when he felt himself get lifted up in a piggy back. Deidara opened his eyes just a little, peering out from beneath his lashes. Sasori was giving him a piggy back?

Deidara gave a soft smile and wrapped his arms around Sasori's neck, nuzzling the back of his neck. He felt Sasori tense up at the action. WHAT THE FUCK!?! WHY THE HELL WAS HE ACTING THIS WAY TO SASORI!?! SASORI WAS A BASTARD!! SASORI WAS STRAIGHT!! SASORI WAS…comfortable…

Deidara closed his eyes fully once more as Sasori carried him. He took in the scent of Sasori. He smelt like wood and faded Rexona. He could feel Sasori's heartbeat, every time he breathed, and his steady gait, all indicating that Sasori was in no rush, as he never was.

"Sasori?"

That was Gaara's voice!!

He felt Sasori turn around to face the voice. Deidara kept his eyes pressed shut.

"Hey Gaara."

"What are you doing with Deidara?"

"The idiot fell asleep in detention and I'm just not in the mood to have him waking the entire school up."

Deidara mentally disagreed. He wouldn't have shouted at all!!! Deidara was never annoyed when he woke up, if anything that was when he was most calm.

"Sasori." Gaara's tone was harsh. "His ass. Belongs. To me."

Deidara gulped softly. He didn't really like Gaara's words. HIS ASS BELONGED TO NO ONE!! Well, except his underwear, of course.

He felt Sasori tense once more and his soft grip on Deidara's legs tightened slightly. Sasori hid this to Gaara though, giving a snort.

"_Please_. You can keep it. Like I would ever want it?"

Deidara felt Sasori relax a little.

"Good. Well, I gotta go. See ya, Cuz."

"See ya Gaara."

Sasori turned and continued to walk, though a little bit faster than before. Deidara heard a door close behind Gaara in the distance.

Deidara opened his eyes sleepily.

"He's scary sometimes, un."

Sasori looked back at him. Deidara could see that he was just as tired as he was.

"You're awake?"

"Yeah, un. You woke me up when you moved my chair back."

"And it took you this long to tell me?"

"I was sleepy, un." Lie.

"Well, now that you're awake…"

Deidara suddenly fell to the floor. He cringed in pain and glared up at Sasori.

"Ah!! Bastard, un!!"

Sasori had already started walking, leaving the blonde right outside room 94. He continued forward in the darkness, feeling his heart throbbing against his rib cage. But he kept his composure. He heard Deidara's door close in the distance.

Sasori exited the front doors, walking out onto the oval. He easily crossed the girl's side and climbed swiftly over the 2.5 metre tall fence. He jumped down onto the boy's oval. He put his hands into his pockets and started to cross the lawn.

There was a reason why Sasori acted like a bastard to other guys.

As Sasori walked he started to sing the song Fix You, by Coldplay softly.

"When you try your best but you don't succeed. When you get what you want but not what you need. When you feel so tired but you can't sleep. Stuck in reverse."

Sasori entered the building of Shinobi Institute; its outer walls which he had spray painted himself, heading for his room. Number 94.

There was a reason why Sasori took his classes at the girl's school.

"And the tears come streaming down your face. When you lose something you can't replace. When you love someone but it goes to waste. Could it be worse?"

Sasori followed his set route through the darkness and to his room.

There was a reason why Sasori read books so much.

"Lights will guide you home, and ignite your bones, and I will try, to fix you…"

Sasori unlocked his door and entered the room. Pein was there playing with a Nintendo DS, probably Pokemon Diamond. He looked up as Sasori closed the door. His eyes widened and he closed the game boy.

"Sasori? Is something wrong?"

And the reason?

Sasori blinked at Pein.

No matter how much he tried.

The red head gave an expression that showed he was shocked.

No matter how much he wished…

And then he said what was truly wrong with him.

-

Deidara entered the English classroom, relieved to see that a girl stood at the front of the class. She smiled at him.

"Ah, Miss Iwa!!"

Deidara opened his mouth to say the 3…4 words which had become a sort of catchphrase to him.

"Don't let the skirt fool you Ms Shizune, she is actually a he."

Deidara shuddered at the damn sexy voice that had sounded from just behind him. FUCK!!

Deidara spun around and glared at Sasori.

"WHAT ARE YOU, UN!?! A FREAKING NINJA!?!"

Sasori smirked at him.

"Sure, Brat."

Sasori walked past Deidara and sat in a seat near the front on the far right. Deidara, being Deidara, went to sit at the back.

"Hello, Sasori-Sama~" Deidara stopped and looked back to see a girl with short pink hair, standing in front of Sasori's desk. She pointed at the spare desk next to Sasori. "Is that seat taken?" She fluttered her eyelashes. What a SLUT!!!

Sasori gave a sincere sad smile at her.

"Sorry Sakura-San, but my good friend Deidara is sitting there." Sasori turned and looked straight at Deidara. "Aren't ya Dei-_Chan_?"

Deidara, speechless, moved over to the table next to Sasori. He placed his books down on it and pulled out the chair.

"Of course, un." He smirked characteristically. "Sorry _Pinky_."

Sakura gave a shocked expression, which soon turned into a glare.

"WHAT DID YOU CALL ME!?!"

Deidara glared back at her.

"I CALLED YOU PINKY!!! GOT A PROBLEM WITH THAT, UN!?!"

Sakura shrunk beneath him as she stared up at him frightened.

"W-W-W-W-W-W-W-"

"OUT OF MY SIGHT, NOW, UN!!"

She practically ran to the back of the class, left corner, far away from both of them.

Deidara huffed as he sat down.

"Wow Brat, you managed to scare the bitchiest girl in the school. Congradz." Sasori sighed out in relief at the thought of not having to sit next to the bitch.

"She deserved it, un."

"Gotta agree with that, Brat."

-

Nothing really dramatic occurred for the rest of the day. Deidara thought it would be a new record, well until Art anyway.

As soon as Deidara walked into the room, he felt a pair of lips seize his own. He stared into the others blue eyes. Gaara.

"Hey Deidara-Kun."

"Hey Gaara, un!!"

Deidara smiled at the red head.

"I gotta go, Dei. I will be back in a few days. I'm in this thing called the Chunin Exams, fighting a wimp called Sasgay or something. 'Kay?"

"Okay, un!!"

Gaara winked at him, smirking.

"Stay cute while I'm gone."

Deidara smiled and Gaara disappeared out the door. Deidara's smile dropped instantly when he suddenly heard a familiar voice whisper in his ear.

"_Detention, Brat._"

Deidara shuddered lightly at the voice.

"What for, Sasori Danna, un?"

"_I've just decided that I'm banning kissing in my classroom. So, after class, in the Library._"

Deidara nodded stiffly before going to his seat next to Konan, his face bright pink.

-

*Flashback*

_Sasori unlocked his door and entered the room. Pein was there playing with a Nintendo DS, probably Pokemon Diamond. He looked up as Sasori closed the door. His eyes widened and he closed the game boy._

"_Sasori? Is something wrong?"_

_And the reason?_

_Sasori blinked at Pein._

_No matter how much he tried._

_He gave an expression that showed him he was shocked._

_No matter how much he wished._

_And then he said what was truly wrong with him._

"_I'm fucking in love with Deidara."_

_He, Sasori, would never __be straight._

*end of Flashback*

-

YAY!! SASORI ADMITS!!

Finally X3 I like the next chapter X3 Gah!! I gotta get working on chapter 8 or then I wil be behind!! *goes to work on it now*

Review/Comment please!!


	7. Show me Love

**SasoDei ****– Sekkus Skato – Chapter 7**

**Show Me Love**

Sasori was browsing the library shelves, trying to find something that seemed to interest him.

"Danna~ Can't I get a book as well, un~? I'm Bored~"

_We__ll, I could entertain you, Brat._

Sasori shook his head. BAD THOUGHTS!! DAMMIT!! BE STRAIGHT!!

"I guess, Brat."

Deidara stood up and joined him in browsing the shelf. Sasori finally pinpointed a book that seemed interesting. Wolf Brother. He went to pull it out of the shelf; but it slipped and fell to the floor.

Both Sasori and Deidara bent to pick it up. They both stopped as their face became within centimetres from the others. They stared into each others eyes. Their lips were so close…

"S-Sorry, Danna."

Deidara straightened up, blushing, and Sasori grabbed the book from the floor. Sasori straightened up as well.

Deidara was about to return to the shelves when he heard Sasori drop the book again. He turned his head to look at Sasori when…

Deidara felt a pair of lips gently meet his own. His eyes widened as he stared into Sasori's chocolate brown eyes.

Deidara once more felt the addicting taste of Sasori's bitter lips. Deidara let his eyes flutter shut as he melted into the kiss. He wrapped his arms around Sasori's neck, closing off the space between their bodies.

Sasori bought his hands to gently rest within Deidara's long golden locks. H nibbled softly on Deidara's bottom lip, begging for entrance.

Deidara opened his mouth to the red head. When their tongues met Deidara shuddered. It felt like electricity. Sasori's tongue explored his mouth further, making him moan.

Deidara found it confusing how someone who was such a bastard…could be so gentle…

They had been kissing for what seemed like blissful hours, but in reality was only about a minute. Sasori pulled his lips away for air, still connected by a thin trail of saliva.

"_Danna_~"

Sasori let go of Deidara's hair and jumped back, shocked. He had a hand over his mouth and his face was flushed.

Deidara gave him a confused look.

"Danna, un?"

Sasori shook his head.

"D-Detention is cancelled."

And with that Sasori disappeared out the library door, without a second glance.

Deidara just stared in shock. He then crumpled to the floor, tears rolling down his cheeks. He started to sing softly, shaking.

"This was an accident, not the kind were sorrow sounds, never even noticed we're suddenly crumbling. Tell me how you've never, felt delicate or innocent, do you still have doubts that us having faith makes any sense? Tell me nothing ever comes lashing out or breaking down. Still somebody loses cause there's no way to turn around, staring at your photograph everything now in the past. Never felt so lonely, I wish that you could show me love." Deidara stopped singing the song Show Me Love by t.A.T.u. "…un…What is it about me that makes me so repulsive to you, Danna?"

-

Sasori sat on the roof of Shinobi Institute, looking back at Kunoichi College. He could still taste Deidara's sugary sweet taste in his mouth.

"What the fuck is wrong with you, Sasori?"

-

Deidara sat down at the same desk as yesterday. He looked around the English classroom. No Sasori. He frowned and mumbled.

"Bastard…Fucking kisses me, un, then to much of a chicken to-"

He was shut up when Sasori entered the class room. The red head made his way to the seat next to Deidara.

"Morning, Brat. How are you today?"

Deidara glared at him as he sat down in the seat.

"Un."

Sasori blinked at him, puzzled.

"Un?"

"Yeah. Un."

"That doesn't make sense, Brat."

"Yeah. A _lot _of things don't make _sense _now, _do_ they, _Danna_?"

"Listen Deidara, I'm sorry about that. It was an accident…I just…" Sasori sighed and ran a hand through his blood red hair.

"Whatever, un."

-

Things went on like this for the rest of the day. Sasori and Deidara barely talked to each other, and only when they absolutely needed to.

Now it was lunch and Deidara was sitting at the fence.

"Sasori is an _ass_, un."

Konan rolled her eyes.

"He always has been one, Dei."

"No he is even **MORE** of an **ASS** than **USUAL**, un!!"

"Hmmm." Konan looked over at her boyfriend through the fence. "Hey Pein, you're Sasori's room mate aren't you?"

"Yeah."

"Wait…YOU'RE HIS ROOM MATE!?!"

Pein blinked at him.

"Of course. Room 94."

"Well, has Sasori been acting weird lately, un?"

Pein looked away from Deidara.

"I promised him that I wouldn't tell you…"

Deidara blinked at him.

"You HAVE to tell **ME**, un!!"

"No. He said 'Especially not Deidara'."

Deidara glared at Pein.

"Pein. You have to tell me, un."

Pein sighed and stood up.

"No. I swore that I wouldn't, and I actually keep promises." Pein turned round and walked back to the building.

Deidara pouted.

"Attention." The intercom spoke out. "All girls whom wish to partake in art today please make your way to the Art room. That is all."

"FUCK YOU, UN!!"

Deidara turned and stormed off towards the building. Konan hurried behind him. When they got inside, Deidara turned left, instead of right.

"Deidara, art is that way."

"I'M NOT GOING, UN, I WANT TO BE ALONE!!"

Konan watched helplessly as Deidara disappeared down the corridor.

-

Let's see…Sasori was teaching art…So that meant that Deidara couldn't possibly get a detention!! That meant that Sasori wouldn't be in the library!!

He peered through the glass doors. NO RED HEAD!!! (Well, no one at all since none of the girls there liked books.)

He snuck into the library and headed into one of the shelves, looking for a book to read.

He was suddenly spun around and pushed against the book shelves. He felt a pair of lips press against his own as he stared into a pair of green eyes.

When the person pulled away, Deidara screamed.

-

Oh noes!! Who is this person!?!

You find out next chapter X3 Woot Woot

It's weird that the only two who are ever in the library are Sasori and Deidara X3 Not even a Librarian!! Lolz, oh well X3 I already know why you never see the librarian X3

Anyway, Review/Comment!!


	8. Victims of Love

**SasoDei – Sekkus Skato – Chapter 8**

**Victims of Love**

Deidara screamed again.

"Why are you screaming?"

"BECAUSE YOU'RE A GIRL!!! EWW EWW EWW!! GET AWAY FROM ME!!! I'M 120% GAY!!! I NEED MOUTH WASH!! I NEED DISINFECTANT!! I NEED A BOYFRIEND, UN!!!"

Sakura glared at him.

"Listen. You're my new boyfriend, okay?"

"FUCK NO!!!"

Deidara pushed the girl away from him and spat on the floor, trying to get her disgusting taste off of his lips.

"YES YOU ARE!!"

"NO I'M FUCKING NOT, UN!! AND FACE IT, NO BOY EVER FUCKING WOULD!! YOU'RE A BITCH!!! GO BLEACH YOUR HAIR!!! THE PINK BURNS PEOPLE'S EYE SOCKETS, UN!!!!"

Sakura blinked at him and burst out crying.

"YOU DON'T MEAN THAT!!!"

"HOOK ME UP WITH A FREAKING LIE DETECTOR, UN!! IT IS THE GOD DAMN FUCKING TRUTH!! AND IF YOU DON'T LIKE IT, THEN GO COMMIT SUICIDE YOU DAMN FUCKING GIRL, UN!!!"

Sakura turned and ran off out the library, crying. Not that anyone really gives a damn (hopefully).

Deidara wiped his mouth. YUK!!!

He turned around. Deidara wasn't prepared when another pair of lips pressed gently against his own. Bitter. He immediately recognised them and wrapped his arms around the person's neck.

Deidara stared softly into the brown orbs of his Sasori Danna. He closed his eyes and melted into the kiss.

Sasori wrapped his arms around Deidara's waist, pulling their bodies together. Fuck being Straight, Deidara was so damn worth it.

Sasori nibbled on Deidara's bottom lip, begging for entrance into the blonde's sugar sweet mouth. Deidara opened his mouth to Sasori's expert tongue.

The two entered a war of dominance against each other. After a bit Deidara submitted, Sasori's tongue free to roam his mouth. Electricity seemed to run between them, starting from tongues and ending at their toes.

They finally pulled away when their lungs became starved of oxygen. Their lips were connected by a thin trail of saliva, both bitter and sweet. Deidara's face was blushed and lustful.

"Danna, un~?"

"I'm not straight, Deidara. I never have been. No matter how much I've fucking tried." Deidara blinked at him in both confusion and lust, still panting from the kiss. Sasori sighed. "That's the reason I have my classes here, it's the same concept that your mother came up with."

"B-But why, un? I thought most the guys at Shinobi Institute were gay."

Sasori gave Deidara a look of disbelief.

"Who told you that load of bull?"

"Konan, un."

"Ah. That's the reason. Listen, most of the guys at Shinobi Institute are straight. The only ones I can think of that aren't are the Akatsuki."

"You know of the Akatsuki, un?"

Sasori blinked at him. "Of course!! I used to be one of them. Course that was before…"

"Before what, un?"

Sasori sighed.

"Just watch the flash back."

*flash back*

"What's this?"

"It's art."

The boy quirked an eyebrow.

"A flower is art?"

"Not the Flower, the beauty of it."

Sasori smiled softly.

The person of his affections snorted.

"Ah, thanks? But what is it for?"

Sasori adjusted his glasses. He was 16 years old and had been at Shinobi Institute for about 2 months. But he had already fallen in love with someone. And that person was-

"PEIN!!"

The orange haired 16 year old looked behind to see Konan at the fence, waving to him. Pein waved back at her.

"I'm thinking about asking Konan out, what do you think Saso?"

Sasori's eyes widened. Konan? But-But-But-But…

"I think you suit each other. Give her the flower."

Pein quirked an eyebrow at him and then looked down to the white rose in hand.

"Really? I mean, don't you want it back?"

Sasori smirked and put his hands into his pockets.

"Why would I want a white rose? I thought that you could give it to Konan. It would be nice to see you get a girl friend."

Pein smirked at him.

"Hey, you're still single, aren't you, Saso?"

"Yeah, your point?"

"You aught to get yourself a Girlfrie- Wait…You're straight right? Cause it would be really weird if you're gay since we're sharing a room."

Sasori quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Do I look gay to you? Listen Pein, I'm as straight as a metal ruler." Lie.

"Well, that's a relief. HEY KONAN!!"

Pein ran off. Sasori watched as they talked through the fence and as Pein handed the rose to Konan through the wires.

He sighed and looked down at his feet.

"Good going, Sasori, you just got your heart broken."

"Hey Sasori."

Sasori looked to see his cousin, Gaara (whom was 15) standing next to him.

"Hey Cuz."

"I reckon it's stupid how we can't do art."

"Yeah."

"Hey Sasori, you work at Kunoichi College, don't you?"

Sasori quirked an eyebrow at him.

"Yeah, but it is only as the Librarian, nothing really important."

"Hey, every job is important. We should see if we can go do art with the girls!!"

Sasori blinked at him through his glasses.

"Aren't you gay?"

Gaara blinked back at him.

"I only wanna do art there. So you in?"

Sasori smirked.

"Course. I think that I'm going to see if I can take all of my classes there."

"Hey, aren't you gay as well?"

Sasori sighed.

"Not any more, Gaara. Not any more."

Who was he trying to kid? Well, maybe going to the girl's school would straighten him out!! Yeah!!

"Well, come on Sasori, let's go stand up to the school system."

"Deal."

The ending shot of the flash back was a montage of Sasori and Gaara battling the school system with giant 6ft Styrofoam swords, with the song Victims of Love by Good Charlotte playing.

*end of flash back*

"So, does that solve all your problems?"

"What the fuck was that, un?!"

"…Okay, maybe that end part with the Styrofoam swords never happened, but you get the idea."

"NO THAT!! THE ENTIRE THING!!"

"Oh, it was a flashback, Baka."

"HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE!?!"

"Ask the author."

"Na, the author is making me carry on with the plot. Wait…YOU LIKED PEIN!?!" Deidara stared at Sasori (they were still in the same position as before).

"Yeah, but I stopped liking him from then on. That's when I left the Akatsuki and started taking classes at Kunoichi College."

Deidara nodded.

"Wait…You're the librarian?"

Sasori snorted.

"Obviously, Brat."

"Well, that explains why you're the only one I ever see in here. Oh, and probably explains why you're not at art."

"Yeah, I'm the art teacher only 3 days a week."

"Oh, un…That also explains why you weren't the art teacher on my first day here…"

"Yeah. Just then I was in the store room sorting out some new books that came today when I heard all of your yelling. So I went to investigate what the ruckus was and…yeah…" Deidara nodded and rested his head against Sasori's chest. "Which reminds me Brat…Detention."

Deidara sighed.

"Let me guess. No kissing in the library, un?"

"See Dei-_Chan_, you are learning!!"

Deidara sighed.

"Fine, un, whatever."

Sasori ran his finger tips gently through Deidara's golden locks.

"Well, Brat, for your punishment you have to join me in the storage room."

Deidara groaned and looked up at Sasori.

"Awww, Danna, I dun't wanna sort books, un!!"

Sasori smirked down at him, a glint in his chocolate brown eyes. He moved his lips next to Deidara' ear and whispered seductively.

"Who said anything about _sorting books_, Dei-_Chan_?"

-

XD INDEED!!!

I think you all know what is coming next X3 Heh heh heh, I'm evil

Anyway, REVIEW/COMMENT PLEASE!!


	9. Bad Boy

**SasoDei – Sekkus Skato –**** Chapter 9**

**Bad Boy**

**Warning- Swearing and smut. You have been warned (not that ****you're going to listen anyway X3 ).**

Deidara's lips were once more locked with Sasori's. Deidara quickly kissed back, opening his mouth to Sasori's tongue.

As they kissed Sasori picked Deidara up. Deidara caught on and wrapped his legs around the red head's waist.

Sasori managed to carry Deidara into the storage room without breaking the kiss. He placed the blonde down and pulled away from the lips. Sasori turned and closed the door. He locked it quickly from the inside and turned back to Deidara. The soft light made Deidara's golden hair shine and Sasori once more pressed his lips lightly to Deidara's pai.

Sasori pulled away from the kiss and grabbed Deidara's wrist gently. He led the blonde deeper into the storage room until they came to a dead end, or so it appeared.

Sasori turned right and Deidara saw a door set into the wall. It was the same colour as the wall, which made it invisible at first glace. The red head pulled out a key and unlocked it, pulling Deidara inside.

Deidara looked around while Sasori locked the door. The room was about 4 metres by 5 metres with wooden floor boards. The only furnishings were a small table in the corner, which had a kettle, 2 coffee cups, a jar of sugar, a table spoon and of course a jar of ground up coffee beans on it. There was a cabinet and a small fridge. There was also a wooden wardrobe, along with another door which probably led to a bathroom. Other than that the room was pretty bare. It had wall paper the same colour as the libraries' carpeting and no windows. A light in the middle of the ceiling lit the room up fairly nicely though.

Deidara felt a pair of arms wrap around his waist and a voice whisper in his ear.

"_Does Dei-Chan like it?_"

"What is this place, un?"

Sasori smirked.

"_Narnia, Brat, that's how deep in the closet you are._"

Deidara rolled his eyes.

"Seriously, Danna."

"_This is the Librarian's room. Course I don't live in here, I still have my dorm at Shinobi Institute after all, though there is a sleeping bag in the wardrobe for the times I do decide to stay the night._"

"Sounds logical, un."

"_Indeed. Oh, and there's another highlight to the room._"

"What's that?"

"_It's sound proof._"

Deidara felt Sasori nibble on his ear gently. He moaned softly and Sasori let go of his waist.

Sasori pulled him over to an empty space in the room. He sat down on the wooden floor, back leaning against the wall, and pulled Deidara down onto his lap. They both started another tongue war. While they were kissing, Deidara's hands busily undid Sasori's shirt buttons. He moved away from Sasori's lips and started to kiss a trail down Sasori's jaw line. Deidara moved to his neck, nipping and kissing at the sensitive flesh. He kept moving lower, nipping along Sasori's exposed flesh as he revealed it beneath the shirt.

His skin was soft and blemish free. True art.

He finished unbuttoning Sasori's red shirt and moved his lips even lower. He finally came to the bulge in Sasori's pants. Deidara smirked seductively up at Sasori, whom was panting softly, looking down at him.

"Well, Dei-Chan?"

Deidara undid the button of Sasori's pants. He chuckled softly and undid the zip with his teeth. Deidara pulled Sasori's manhood out from its confinements.

"Heh, Danna, I don't think you're going to fit in me, un."

"Well, only one way to find out."

They both chuckled softly and Deidara took Sasori's cock into his mouth.

Sasori gasped at the new warmth which enveloped his length. He moved his hands to bury themselves in Deidara's hair but he stopped. He rested them back on the floor for support. He didn't want to accidentally push Deidara's head down; it would probably make him pissed off.

Deidara started to bob his head up and down, starting to hum the chorus from the song Bad Boy by Cascada.

_Be my Bad Boy, be my man, be my __weekend lover but don't be my friend,_

_You can be my Bad Boy, but understand, that I don't need you in my life again._

Sasori was reaching that blissful state of release. He groaned when he felt Deidara pull his mouth away from his length. Deidara smirked up at him, licking his lips seductively.

"Now now, Danna, we can't have you getting all the pleasure, can we, un?"

Sasori smirked and pulled Deidara back up into his lap.

"Of course not, Dei-_Chan_."

Sasori pressed his lips to Deidara's gently. As he distracted Deidara with the kiss Sasori slipped his hands down and under Deidara's skirt. He slipped the light blue briefs off and threw them at random.

They pulled away from the kiss and smirked at each other lustfully.

"So, un, you going to finger fuck me, or do I gotta do it myself, un?"

Sasori chuckled.

"Well Brat, this is your punishment, so you're going to have to do it yourself. But don't worry, I promise I will do it next time."

Deidara's smirk widened.

"Who say's there's going to be a next time, un?"

Sasori chuckled once more and moved his lips to Deidara's ear.

"_Because Brat. After this, you're going be practically __**begging**__ me for sex~_." Deidara's smirk fell and his lust escalated. He slipped his fingers into his own mouth and began sucking on them. Sasori nibbled lightly on his ear. "_That's a good little Dei-Chan~_."

When Deidara thought his fingers were lubricated enough, he moved his hand down to his ass. He prodded his entrance a bit before pushing his finger in. He groaned softly at the uncomfortable feeling.

Now, yes Deidara was a virgin. He was like, 17, and had managed to control his hormones up until this point (as you should, kids, remember, no sex until your at least 18!! Woolfy forbids it!!!). He had vowed to wait for his true love!! Well, guess that plan had gone up in flames, since for some reason he was about to sleep with this bastard (who was a god damn sexy beast). Where had his little world gone wrong?

Deidara rested his head against Sasori's warm chest. Sasori stroked Deidara's hair softly in response.

The blonde, used to the sensation, started to thrust his finger in and out of his heat. As he got used to it, he added in his second finger, and then immediately his third. He gasped at the pain. Sasori kissed him softly on the top of the head.

Deidara thrust his fingers a bit more, seeing if it would be possible to hit his own prostate. He gave up after a minute and pulled his fingers out. He whimpered softly, wanting Sasori to take him already.

"Are you ready?"

"No, I'm just sitting here because it's comfy, un." He nuzzled Sasori's chest pleadingly. Sasori chuckled and moved his hands down to the slightly smaller boy's waist. He lifted him up and positioned his manhood at the prepared entrance.

Deidara braced himself for the pain. Instead of that Sasori pushed his cock into his ass slowly with barely any pain. Deidara whimpered in need. Out of frustration he slammed himself down on Sasori's shaft. He cried out in pain and buried his face in Sasori's neck.

Sasori rolled his eyes.

"Well, I had been _trying_ to save you some pain, Brat. And people say _I'm_ impatient. That reminds me, Dei-_Chan_, looks like I do _indeed _fit into your nice tight little hole."

"Bastard, un~"

Sasori smirked.

"Horny impatient Brat."

Deidara gave a groan in reply. Sasori just chuckled. After a bit Deidara got used to the new sensation of Sasori being inside of him. He began to rock his hips back and forth, wanting more. While he was doing this, Sasori's cock brushed against something inside of him. He moaned against Sasori's neck.

"Un~"

Sasori smirked and pried Deidara's face from his neck. He smirked at Deidara as the blonde stared back with both need and lust.

"What is it you want, Brat?"

Deidara swallowed.

"I want you, un."

"Well, Brat, you have me. Now what do you want me to do?"

Deidara whimpered.

"Fuck me, un~"

Sasori smirked at the pleading blonde.

"How badly do you want me to fuck you?"

"I don't _want_ you to fuck me, I _need_ you to fuck me, un~"

Sasori chuckled, fairly sadistically, and lifted up Deidara's hips, pulling him mostly out. He then slammed Deidara back down on his shaft.

Deidara cried out as his prostate was struck dead centre, clutching onto Sasori's shirt for support.

Sasori continued to lift the blonde up and slammed him back down on his cock. Deidara started to move his hips up and down, wanting more.

Sasori continuously slammed into his sweet spot. Deidara's cries escalated in volume as he kept getting struck harder and harder.

Drool was dribbling down Deidara's chin as he cried out Sasori's name.

Sasori kept slamming Deidara down harder and faster. He groaned in pleasure. He wouldn't last much longer. Sasori bought his hand to Deidara's ignored cock, pumping him in time with his thrusts.

Deidara cried out even louder. FUCK!!! Ah, literally.

He threw his head back in pleasure as he orgasmed over Sasori's chest.

His already tight walls clenched around Sasori's member. Sasori groaned as he filled Deidara up with his cum. They were both panting hard.

Sasori gave a soft chuckle and ran his hand over his cum covered chest. He licked the creamy substance from his fingers and smirked.

"Not bad, Dei-_Chan_. Sweet."

He pressed his lips to Deidara's pair. The blonde tasted Sasori's bitter taste mixed with his own sweet essence. He became aware of something running down his thighs.

"Ah, Danna, I think you filled me up too much, un."

Sasori chuckled once more and moved his hand around to Deidara's thighs. He caught some of the substance on his fingers and bought them up to Deidara's mouth. Deidara sucked on the fingers, tasting Sasori's bitter cum.

Sasori chuckled and pulled out of Deidara. He stood up and went to the cabinet. Sasori pulled out some paper towels and threw a few to Deidara. He wiped Deidara's essence off of his chest and threw the towels in the bin.

Deidara slipped his underwear back on after wiping the excess from his thighs. He yawned sleepily and looked up at Sasori, whom was fiddling with the kettle.

"Need some coffee?"

"Oh fuck yes, un."

-

I have the urge to buy an Axel plushie O.o (Kingdom Hearts 2)

Awww, while writing this my head phones snapped T-T I had to fix with a diary key and some sticky tape but now they all loose =.= Oh well

Longest chapter yet X3

Lolz XD Coffee to tha rescue!!


	10. Simple and Clean

**SasoDei- Sekkus Skato – Chapter 10**

**Simple and Clean**

**(Warning- Swearing, Sexual references and the TOTAL demolishing of the fourth wall X3 and by demolishing I mean pulverising X3. You have been warned!!)**

Deidara sat down in the cafeteria, wincing a little at the pain in his ass. Konan looked up at him from her laptop. She smirked at him evilly.

"So, Dei, I heard that Sakura kissed you, you bad mouthed her, she ran off, and then you and Sasori went to the back room, and then had sex with him…Then had coffee."

Deidara blinked at her.

"And you know this how, un?"

"AkatsukiMemberWoolfy posted up chapter 9 of Sekkus Skato a few minutes ago."

"Who?"

"AkatsukiMemberWoolfy. She is this weird 15 year old blonde girl who is absolutely obsessed with Sasori and SasoDei. She lives in Western Australia and is fairly popular amongst the Otakus of the internet. Why don't you read some of her stories? You star in all of them!! And die in several as well!! (of course, not permanently)"

Deidara grabbed the laptop from Konan and read over chapter 9 of Sekkus Skato quickly.

"WHAT THE HELL, UN!?! DOES THIS GIRL HAVE CAMERAS ALL AROUND THE SCHOOL!?! And in my mother's car?"

"SHE KNOWS EVERYTHING!!! And she better hurry up and write chapter 10."

"One sec, I used to work as a computer hacker…My mum put a lot of adultery bans on my internet which I had to get around."

Deidara started typing randomly. After a bit a Microsoft Word page came up.

"HEY!! She's typing right now, un!!! …And she is typing exactly what I just did…WHAT THE HELL, UN!?! AND EVEN NOW WHILE I'M SPEAKING THE WORDS ARE COMING UP ON THE SCR- (the world suddenly paused. Then the author came back from washing the dogs.) EEN, UN!!! …"

"Whatever happened to the fourth wall?"

Deidara chucked the laptop into a random bin and blew it up.

"DAMN YOU INTERNET!!"

"Hey!! My laptop!!"

Suddenly a brand knew Toshiba laptop appeared in front of Konan.

"Praise the author!!!"

Deidara sighed.

"Getting back to the plot, yeah, Sasori just screwed me…several times, un…"

"Really? AkatsukiMemberWoolfy only wrote one smut scene!! Awwww."

"THAT'S IT!!! I'M CALLING A REPAIR MAN TO FIX THE FOURTH WALL!!!"

"Hey wait…How many smut scenes could fit into 2 hours?"

"You'd be surprised, un…You'd. Be. Surprised…SOMEONE FIX THAT GOD DAMN WALL ALREADY!!"

*A guy named Steve came along randomly and repaired the fourth wall*

"So, now that that is taken care of, what do you wanna do?"

"You mean after dinner, un?"

Konan rolled her eyes.

"Obviously."

"We can play Kingdom Hearts, un!!"

"Hey!!! Good idea!!"

-

The starting theme song of Kingdom Hearts 1 came on, Simple and Clean by Utada Hikaru.

"I love the openings of Kingdom Hearts, un."

"Yeah. So anyway Dei, what are you going to do?"

"About what, un?"

"Sasori and Gaara!!"

Deidara's eyes widened. Gaara!?! HE'D FORGOTTEN ALL ABOUT HIM!!!

"FUCK, UN!!! WHAT DO I DO!?! Wait…How did you-"

"Internet."

"…Keeping the fourth wall intact, thank you very much. What am I supposed to do!?! Both like m- …Wait…"

"What?"

"…I think Gaara likes me…But…Sasori…QUICK!!! WHAT DOES THE INTERNET SAY, UN!?!"

"Sorry, Dei, I can't tell you anything that will affect the plot of the story. That's the rule of breaking the fourth wall."

"Damn…"

"Maybe you should just ask him. That would be the smartest thing to do. I don't know why the characters always go for some lame plan on getting them to reveal their feelings and all that."

"Did you say lame plan on getting them to reveal their feelings, un!?! THAT'S WHAT I SHALL DO!!"

"DEIDARA!!"

"…Fine I will go with your idea…Meanie…"

"Just trying to make the story non cliché."

"You're still a meanie…"

"Can we please carry on with the plot?"

"…Fine…"

They both played Kingdom Hearts, while Steve once more fixed the fourth wall, also putting bars on it so it would hold this time.

-

Sasori was looking out the window, waiting for the bell to go and class to begin. Though he wasn't really focused on the window, he was too busy lost in his day dreams of him and Deidara. He shuddered softly in pleasure at the memories. Oh Deidara was SO getting another detention today!!

"Hey Danna, un."

Sasori blinked and looked away from the window. He gave a cross between a sweet and sinister smile at the blonde.

"Hello Dei-_Chan_~ How are we today?"

Deidara sat down in the seat next to Sasori's, cringing a little.

"You did a number on my ass, un."

"Sorry bout that…Guess I did go a bit rough."

"It's okay, un, it felt too good for me to be pissed off about it now." Deidara smirked at Sasori, whom smirked back. Deidara's smirk disappeared and he sighed. "What about Gaara, un?"

Sasori quirked an eyebrow, then remembered what Gaara had told him.

"Oh, snap. I forgot all about him and his little fetish for you."

"Yeah, un, so did I till Konan reminded me."

Both lovers gave each other worried expressions. Sasori shook his head softly and pulled something out of his pocket. Deidara quirked an eyebrow as Sasori put the thin frame glasses on. Deidara was reminded how sexy they looked on the red head.

"What was the point of putting your glasses on, un?"

Sasori both smirked and shrugged.

"They make me look smart. Now Brat, we're going to have to work out something with Gaara. He's my cousin; he will hate me when he finds out that I touched his 'Property'."

"Hey, un!! I'm not anyone's property!!"

Sasori's smirk grew and he leaned close to whisper in Deidara's ear.

"_That's not true, Dei-Chan. Y__our ass practically, literally and ultimately belongs to me_."

Deidara blushed crimson. Sasori pulled away quickly as the bell sounded and Ms Shizune entered the class room.

"Okay students, today we're going to start looking at William Shakespeare's famous tragic play, Romeo and Juliet."

Sasori's eyes widened.

"Ouch. I sense foreshadowing."

Deidara sighed.

"Why do I even bother repairing the fourth wall if you're just going to break it again, un?"

And so, Steve was fired from his job as a fourth wall fixer and now rules Narnia.

-

Poor Dei XD the Fourth Wall is too easily broken in this fan fic XD

Sozzy bout all tha crack X3 Just remember this fan fic is mainly for humor purposes ^-^"

If any one has really noticed, the characters are slightly based on the characters in Romeo and Juliet X3 Deidara is Juliet, Sasori is Romeo and Gaara is Paris. Even look at the time frame, it's only been a few days since Sasori and Deidara met!!

"Never was there a tale of such woe, than that of Juliet and her Romeo."

I think that was the last line in Romeo and Juliet X3 Something like that, we looked at it last year in English =3

Very tragic play, I like Mercutio X3

"True I speak of dreams, which are the children of my idle brain, and a substance thinner than air."

I think he says that anyway

I memorized that quote cause I was gonna put it as my DA signature, but I like my siggy the way it is X3

Speaking of quotes I also used a quote in their from Blood Drenched Scorpion's review ^-^ That being "_Y__our ass practically, literally and ultimately belongs to me_." ^-^ Thanx Blood ^-^

Lolz, anyway, hope you likey X3

Review/Comment!!


	11. Fall for You

**SasoDei – Sekkus Skato – Chapter 11**

**Fall For You**

2 days later

Deidara opened his eyes slowly. He could feel Sasori softly stoking his hair.

Both of them were in the Librarian's room, which they had nicknamed their 'Sweet Spot' ironically. Deidara was pressed against Sasori's chest in the dark room, a blanket over the top of them as they lay on Sasori's sleeping bag as a mattress type thing. Their bare bodies were pressed up against the others for warmth and comfort.

It was about 11pm and Deidara couldn't sleep.

"Danna? You awake, un?"

Deidara could practically feel Sasori's smirk.

"No, I'm obviously asleep. What is it, Dei-Chan?"

"What are we, un?"

Sasori's hand stopped stroking Deidara's hair and moved to rest over his waist, almost protectively.

"Pardon?"

"What are we? Boyfriends? Lovers? Best friends? Friends who sleep with each other on occasion, un? What?"

Sasori sighed.

"I think we're a mix of all four of those things."

Deidara nodded against his chest.

"Do you love me, un?"

A few moments of silence ticked by between them.

"Pein didn't tell you?"

"Tell me what, un?"

Sasori's hand moved up to Deidara's chin, tilting his head up so there eyes met.

"How I felt."

"No, he didn't, un."

Sasori smirked.

"Well, I guess I was good to trust him then." Sasori pressed his lips to Deidara's gently. Bitter against Sweet. "I love you, Dei."

Deidara smiled softly.

"I love you to, Danna."

"We're Lovers."

"What, un?"

"You asked me earlier what we are. We're Lovers."

Deidara nodded and nuzzled Sasori's chest, closing his eyes to go to sleep.

Sasori's hand went back to stroking Deidara's hair lovingly.

Lovers…Star crossed Lovers?

-

The song Fall for You by Secondhand Serenade started to play. Sasori quirked an eyebrow and looked over at the sleeping form of Deidara. Sasori had woken up and gotten dress, in need of a cup of coffee. He followed the music which led him to Deidara's skirt. He rummaged in the pockets until he found Deidara's mobile phone. Sasori flipped it open and put it to his ear.

"Hello?"

"Huh? Who is this?"

It was a women's voice.

"Oh, I'm Sasori. Sorry, but Deidara's asleep."

"I'm Deidara's mother, Ameth."

"Ah, you're the one who stuffed him in a skirt!!" Sasori chuckled.

"Yeah. But who are you? I thought the school was only for girls. Well, girls and Deidara."

"Oh, I'm the librarian, also the art teacher and the occasional substitute. Deidara had a detention in art since he started on that Art was fleeting, even though Art is Eternal. I usually let him read books in detention and he fell asleep while reading." Sasori didn't really think Ameth would be happy to hear that he was sleeping with her son.

"Oh. Well Sasori, does he have a girl friend yet?"

Sasori smirked.

"No he doesn't have a girl friend." Well, it was the truth. "But I'm trying to hook him up with someone." Once more, sort of the truth.

"Well, just be careful that he doesn't fall in love with you, Sasori."

"Don't worry; I'm as straight as a metal ruler." Ah, well it _had _been the truth…sort of…

"It's not you hitting on him that I'm worried about."

"You have nothing to worry about Ms Iwa; I will keep Deidara from falling in love with any other boys." Truth.

"Well that's good to hear Sasori, tell him- Wait. Did you just say you will stop him falling in love with any _other_ boys?"

Sasori's eyes widened. Oh snap.

"So there are other boys?"

Sasori suppressed a sigh of relief. Oh!!! That's what she meant!!

"Yeah there is a school across the oval, but don't worry, the only guys that go near the fence is this group called Akatsuki, and none of them are interested in Deidara, and I'm positive that Deidara isn't interested in any of them." Wait…Would Sasori still count as one of the Akatsuki? Probably. So it was a Lie of sorts.

"Oh. Well make sure it stays that way!! I will probably call Woolfy just to make sure. Well, see you Sasori; keep an eye on Deidara for me."

Sasori smirked again.

"Oh don't worry, I wont let him out of my sight."

"Thank you. Tell Dei I said hello."

"Will do. See ya Ms Iwa."

Sasori closed the phone and slipped it back into Deidara's skirt pocket.

He walked over to Deidara and kissed him on the forehead gently.

"Danna?" Sasori smirked down at him as he woke up.

"Your mother says Hi."

"What, un?"

"She called you."

Deidara quickly sat up.

"SHE CALLED, UN!?!"

"Don't worry, I didn't tell her about us." Deidara sighed and nodded. "Wait…Does Woolfy know about us?"

Deidara's eyes widened. Knowing Woolfy, she probably did. Deidara jumped up.

"FUCK!!" Sasori quickly covered his eyes as the blanket fell off of Deidara. Deidara quirked an eyebrow at him. "What are you doing, un?"

"Resisting the urge to rape you."

Deidara rolled his eyes and sighed.

"I need a shower, un. Be right back."

Deidara walked into the bathroom, locking the door behind him. In a few seconds the shower could be heard. Sasori removed his hands from his eyes and smirked.

_But hold your breath, because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you, over again, don't make me change my mind, or I wont live to see another day, I swear it's true. __Because a girl like you is impossible to find, you're impossible to find._

Sasori quirked an eyebrow and picked up Deidara's phone once more. He flipped it open.

"Hey Sori!!!"

"Woolfy? How did you know it was me?"

"Pfft, I know everything about this story!! Now, I told my mum the same things that you told her."

"Thanks…What's the catch?"

There was a soft laugh from the other side of the phone. "Gaara is going to call you in a few minutes saying about how he got disqualified from the Chunin Exams…I know these things. You are to tell him about how Deidara belongs to you."

"What? Why?"

"Meh, it moves the plot along. See ya, defiantly wouldn't wanna be ya!!"

And with that, she hung up. Sasori blinked and placed the phone back down. Weird girl. But seriously!! What were the chances that Gaara would c-

Sasori was cut off when he felt something vibrating in his back pocket. He pulled out his mobile phone and answered it.

"Sasori Speaking."

"Hey Cuz, it's Gaara. I got disqualified from the Chunin Exams since I maimed that Sasgay guy. Oh well, sucks to be him. I guess he won't be reviving his clan anytime soon, if you know what I mean. I will be back tomorrow. So anyway, how are you?"

"I'm fine."

"And how is my little Deidara-Kun?"

Sasori sighed.

"He isn't yours, Gaara."

There was a short silence from the other side of the phone.

"What?"

"He isn't yours, because he belongs to me."

And with that, Sasori hung up the phone. He sighed and took a sip of his coffee.

"Do so, and bid my sweet prepare to chide."

-

At the end Sasori quotes something that Romeo said. The translation of it is "Do so, and bid my sweet prepare to scold me." ^-^ Took me ages to hunt down a sort of suitable quote in my Romeo and Juliet book =.=

Anyway, pretty cute at the start X3 I liked the picture in my mind of them all snuggled up together X3

Woolfy makes him tell Gaara XD Hey, it moves the plot along!!

Anyway, Review/Comment!!


	12. Snuff that Girl

**SasoDei – Sekkus Skato – Chapter 12**

**Snuff that Girl**

Deidara spoke out.

"Why the dev'l came you between us, un!! I was hurt under your arm."

Sasori sighed.

"I thought all for the best."

"Okay boys," Ms Shizune smiled at them. "switching readers now. Hinata, you read for Romeo and Temari, you read for Mercutio."

"BUT MISS!!! WHY CAN'T I READ!?!"

Ms Shizune looked over at the girl.

"Kaori, you can read for Benvolio."

"Oh. Yay!!!"

The three girls continued to read the dialogue from where Sasori and Deidara ended.

Deidara and Sasori talked in low voices.

"_Danna~! What are we gonna do, un?!_"

Sasori tapped his chin in thought.

"Hey…I have an idea!!! Why don't we-"

Sasori was cut off suddenly by the door slamming open to reveal a flaming figure. The red head walked past Deidara's desk and in front of Sasori's, slamming his fists down on the table top. Everyone stared at him, silent with fear, as he glared at Sasori. Sasori, being who he was, just gave his cousin a bored expression, quirking an eyebrow.

"You."

Sasori blinked.

"Me?"

Gaara's glare darkened.

"Yes. You. You. Fucking. Bastard."

"Hey!! Don't talk that way to-"

Gaara shot Deidara a death glare.

"SHUT UP YOU SLUT!!!"

Deidara's eyes widened and he stood up.

"WHO YOU FUCKING CALLING A SLUT, UN!?!"

Gaara gave him an expression that would make even Satan terrified.

"I CALLED YOU A SLUT, YOU DUMB BLONDE!!! YOU'RE SLEEPING WITH MY COUSIN AFTER I ALREADY SAID YOU WERE MINE!!!"

Of course, Deidara being…well…Deidara…Didn't back down.

"I AM NOT YOURS, UN!!!! AND HE IS A BETTER FUCK THAN YOU WOULD EVER BE ABLE TO MATCH!!!!"

No one knew what the hell they were screaming about, aside from Gaara, Deidara and of course Sasori.

"SO YOU _ARE_ SCREWING HIM!!!"

"FUCK NO, YEAH!!! HE IS SCREWING _ME_!!!"

"WELL, FUCK YOU!!!"

Everything happened in a second. Gaara's fist was flying through the air right at Deidara. Deidara closed his eyes waiting for the blow. It never came. He heard a loud crash in front of him. He opened his eyes to see Gaara was in a pile of rubble where he had slammed into the wall. Deidara's eyes looked up to see Sasori standing on the desk. He had kicked Gaara right in the face. Deidara stared in awe as sand hung in the air around Gaara, seeming to have blocked the kick. Deidara shook slightly. What the fuck!?! He spoke (screamed) his question.

"WHAT THE FUCK, UN!?!"

"YOU THREE!! GO STRAIGHT TO DETENTION!!! NOW!!!"

Sasori blinked at the teacher and jumped off the desk, gracefully.

"I can live with that."

His hand met with Deidara's, wrapping around the blonde's digits. He walked out the classroom, pulling a very confused Deidara after him. As they left, the class started to sing 'Snuff that Girl' from the musical Urinetown.

They made it into the library but didn't stop there.

"Danna…What the fuck was that back there, un?"

"Oh, didn't I mention? The guys were trained in sport to be ninjas. Though I would personally rather do art."

Deidara's jaw dropped.

"NO WONDER YOU KEEP CREEPING UP ON ME!!!"

"I did kinda say a few chapters ago."

"WHEN WAS THIS, UN!?!"

"English. You said "What are you? A Freaking Ninja?" and I said something along the lines of "Yep", or whatever the hell I said."

Deidara pouted and finally realised where Sasori was taking him.

"The Sweet Spot, un?"

"Yep."

"B-B-But Danna!!"

Sasori just smirked as he opened the door to their little hide out. He pulled Deidara inside and locked the door behind them. He pulled Deidara to the sleeping bag mattress sort of thing and sat down on it.

He pulled Deidara down into his lap and wrapped his arms around him.

"Relax, I just want to hold you."

Deidara's eyes widened. Since when had Akasuna Sasori ever wanted to just 'Cuddle'!?!

Deidara nuzzled his face into the crook of Sasori's neck. He took in the scent of Sasori, wood, faded Rexona, and as of late, coffee. The red head stroked his hair both softly and lovingly.

The door, despite being locked, was slammed open.

The red headed figure of Gaara stormed into the room. Sasori blinked, grimacing at the door.

"Oh great, now I'm going to have to fix that."

Gaara glared at his cousin, not even looking at Deidara. The blonde grasped Sasori's shirt tightly for reassurance. Sasori continued to stroke his hair softly.

"How long have you two been going behind my back, then?"

Sasori yawned softly.

"Since chapter 9…Ever since you went away on the Chunin Exams."

Gaara sat down on the wooden floors, seeming to have calmed down a bit from the class room.

"Can I go, un?"

"Sorry Dei, we have to sort this out."

Deidara nodded softly and nuzzled his face into Sasori's neck, not wanting to look at Gaara.

"Slut."

Deidara just shut his eyes tight.

"Gaara. I don't care if you think that Deidara should belong to you. I love him more than you ever could."

Deidara's eyes opened slightly.

"Deidara. Look at me."

Deidara didn't budge.

"Dei. Look at him."

Deidara reluctantly pulled away from the crook of Sasori's neck and looked over at Gaara.

"Deidara. You can either have me or Sasori. What is your decision?"

Deidara blinked at him blankly, serious expression.

"Gaara. Don't make me choose between the both of you, yeah. Because Sasori will win every time. The fact that you actually think I will choose other wise, is just stupid, un."

Gaara's eyes widened. He stood up with a snarl and stormed out the room.

Deidara rested his head back in the crook of Sasori's neck and closed his eyes. Sasori kissed him lightly on the forehead.

"Thank you, Deidara."

-

Wooo!! I got that Axel plushie XD Along with a Hiruko plushie X3 I showed my dad Hiruko and he was like "…I'd hate to have that on the end of my bed…" X3

Sozzy about lateness and shortness, I haven't had much inspiration lately =.= Anyway, yeah

Hope you likey ^-^


	13. I'm Alive

**SasoDei – Sekkus Skato – Chapter 13**

**I'm Alive**

Ms Shizune smiled down at Sasori.

"And so, Sasori, you will be playing Romeo in our upcoming play."

Sasori smirked.

"Great."

"Can I be Juliet, un?"

Ms Shizune quirked an eyebrow at Deidara.

"Sorry, Deidara, you're Mercutio."

Deidara pouted.

"But he dies, un!!"

Sasori snorted.

"So does Juliet, Brat."

"…Shut up, un…"

Sasori snickered and stood up as the bell sounded. The school's performance of Romeo and Juliet was going to be in a few days. Romeo was going to be played by Sasori, and Juliet was going to be played by…Sakura…Much to everyone in the entire world's chagrin.

Deidara and Sasori both entered their next class, which, since the author wanted to make them suffer, was Maths.

-

"I hate maths, un."

Sasori rolled his eyes.

"So does everyone Brat, so does everyone. Especially the authoress."

Sasori and Deidara made their way to the fence, where the rest of the Akatsuki were. Konan turned and smiled at them.

"Hey guys!!"

"Hey Konan, un."

"Hello Konan." They both sat down on the grass. "Are you performing in Romeo and Juliet?"

Konan nodded.

"I'm playing the Nurse!!"

"Romeo."

"Mercutio, un."

"Congradz!!"

Deidara pouted.

"Wouldn't it have been better if the author had made me play Juliet, un?"

Konan smirked.

"Breaking the fourth wall, are we?"

"Shut up."

Hidan snickered from behind the fence.

"Seriously, even us gay boys wouldn't want to fucking play Juliet!!"

Deidara continued to pout.

"But Sempai!! Sempai's Mummy might be watching!! Sempai's Mummy would get mad if Sempai kisses Sasori Sempai!!"

Deidara blinked.

"Hey!! That's right, un!!" Deidara looked up and smiled. "Mum would probably send me away from the school if she found out I was still gay, un!!"

The bell suddenly sounded and they all stood off the grass. Sasori, Deidara and Konan started walking back to the school.

"Oh, that reminds me. Gaara told me to tell you that he is going to be playing Tybalt."

Sasori and Deidara both looked at Konan.

"Creepy, un."

"Well, see ya!!"

Konan turned right, headed for her Japanese class.

Sasori and Deidara both continued walking down the hallway, approaching their Japanese Classroom.

When they entered, Anko was standing at the front of the class.

"Hey boys!!"

"Hey Anko Sensei, un."

"Hello Anko Sensei."

They both took their seats and smiled up at their teacher. She smiled back at them.

"For today's lesson, I've decided that you two can practice your lines for Romeo and Juliet."

They both blinked and her.

"What's the catch, un?"

She smirked.

"You gotta do it in Japanese!!"

Deidara gaped at her.

"WHAT, UN!?!"

She laughed.

"Just kidding!! You two practice (in English), I got papers to mark."

Anko sat down at the teacher's desk and started to mark tests while Sasori and Deidara got out their scripts.

"Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit did I give you?"

"The slip, sir, the slip, can you not conceive, un?"

"Pardon good Mercutio, my business was great, and in such a case as mine a man may stain courtesy."

"That's as much as to say, such a case as yours constrains a man to bow in the hams, un."

"Meaning to cur'sy."

"Though hast most kindly hit it."

"A most courteous exposition."

"Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy, un."

"Pink for flower."

"Right!!"

"Mercutio actually suits you, Brat."

Deidara blushed crimson.

"Shut up!! You're not exactly straight either, Danna, un!! Ooooo Deidara, take it like a bitch~ You feel so good Deidara~ Oh my Gawd Deidara, un!! You make me feel like no one ever has before~!!"

Sasori flushed.

"Oh yeah, Brat? What about you? Oooo Danna~!! Harder!! Harder!! Oh, right their Danna!!! Please Danna!!! Fuck me HARDER!!! Oh Sasori Danna!!!! Give it to me, yeah!!"

Deidara blushed even deeper.

"Can you two _please_ stop talking about your sex life and get back to learning your lines? You're giving me a nose bleed."

They both looked over at Anko, whom was holding a bloody tissue to her nose.

"…Why then is my pump well flowered."

"Sure wit!! Follow me this jest now, till thou hast worn out thy pump, un, that when the single sole of it is worn, the jest may remain, after the wearing, solely singular, un."

"O single-soled jest, solely singular for the singleness!!"

They both blinked at each other and burst out laughing.

-

Deidara and Konan were sitting in their shared room, listening to the song 'I'm Alive' from Next to Normal while playing Super Smash Bros Brawl.

"So you're not with Sasori tonight?"

"He has a lot of paper work to do tonight concerning the latest shipment of books he ordered, un."

"Bummer."

"Hey, my ass needs the rest."

"Then it is all for the best."

"Yeah. HA!! I KICKED YOUR KIRBY ASS!!"

Konan glared at the screen.

"Rematch!!"

"I'm Pikachu, un!!"

"I'm Kirby again."

"I'M PIT!!"

They both looked down at the third player, whom had mysteriously appeared sitting on the floor, a controller in hand.

"WOOLFY!?! WHEN THE FUCK DID YOU GET HERE, UN!?!"

Woolfy smirked but didn't take her eyes off the screen as she chose the character Pit.

"I've been here the whole time!!"

Deidara rolled his eyes and the brawl game began.

-

So far Deidara had died 520 times, Konan had died twice, and Woolfy hadn't even taken a single hit!!

"You're cheating, un."

"I'm not, but Sasori is."

"But Sasori isn't even play- WHAT, UN!?!"

Woolfy didn't even take her eyes off the screen.

"Well, It depends in what you call Cheating."

Whoosh!!

Deidara was already out the room.

Woolfy and Konan continued to play Super Smash Bros Brawl.

"Beat up Deidara's character while he isn't here?"

"Fuck yeah."

-

Sasori looked up as the door was slammed open. He blinked at Deidara, confused.

"Dei? What are you doing here?"

Deidara looked around. Sasori was sitting at a desk in the store room, with lots of paperwork around him. Other than that, Sasori was alone.

"…But, un…Woolfy said- …_Woolfy_, un….I'M SO GOING TO KILL HER!!"

Deidara spun around and stormed out the room, going to go hunt down his sister.

Sasori blinked lazily at the door.

"Well, that was _completely_ normal."

-

I got a new iPod since my last one was being a bitch X3 Lolz

Sozzy for lateness, not much inspiration =.=

Anyway, hope you likey ^-^


	14. We Both Reached for the Gun

**SasoDei – Sekkus Skato – Chapter 14**

**We Both Reached for the Gun**

The door slammed open as Deidara entered the room. Konan and Woolfy didn't bother looking at him as they continued to mercilessly pummel Pikachu.

"Your number of deaths is in the millions."

Deidara pointed threateningly at Woolfy.

"You…"

Woolfy smirked.

"Me?"

Deidara glared harder at the girl.

"You are…A MARY SUE, UN!!"

Woolfy's eyes widened and she dropped her remote. Both she and Konan stared at Deidara. Rage flared up in Woolfy's eyes, turning the ocean blue to a blood red. She pointed accusingly back at the other blonde.

"TAKE THAT BACK!!"

"MARY SUE, MARY SUE, MARY SUE!!!!"

Woolfy growled and stood up. She picked up Konan's laptop, which had been showing the song 'We Both Reached for the Gun from Chicago via Youtube. Woolfy opened up Microsoft word and typed quickly on it. She clicked save, saving it as Sekkus Skato and put the laptop back down.

She huffed and exited the room, knocking Deidara in the shoulder as she went. She said one last thing while she was in earshot.

"How's that for cheating?"

And with that, Woolfy disappeared down the hallway.

Deidara sighed aggressively and slammed the door behind him. He rubbed his temples and sat down on his bed. Konan picked up her laptop and read what Woolfy had written out loud.

"'Deidara ran through the hallways, hoping that what Woolfy had written didn't come true. He turned left and through the glass doors of the library. He slammed open the door to see none other than Sasori with his lips locked with the pink haired bitch known as Sakura.' …Deidara, get running."

Deidara sighed.

"Why should I, un?"

Konan gave him an unamused look.

"Because Woolfy is actually _the_ author. She told me while you were away. If she writes something down, then it comes true."

Deidara's eyes widened and he was out the door in 2 seconds flat.

XxX

Deidara ran through the hallways, hoping that what Woolfy had written didn't come true (De ja vu). He turned left and through the glass doors of the library.

He slammed open the door to see none other than Sasori with his lips locked with the pink haired bitch known as Sakura.

He stared wide eyes at them.

"DANNA!?!"

Sasori pulled away from the kiss and stared wide eyed at Deidara.

"Deidara?" He then looked from Deidara, to Sakura and back at Deidara. He quickly stood up in alarm. "WAIT DEI!!! IT'S NOT WHAT IT LOOKS LIKE!!"

Deidara scoffed.

"OH FUCK YOU, UN!!!"

Deidara turned and stormed out the door way and out the library.

XxX

Sasori bit his lip which still tasted of the disgusting bitch, Sakura.

"With him out the way, we can be together~"

Sasori glared at the bitch. He wanted nothing more than to strangle her.

"I WILL NEVER BE WITH YOU!!! I LOVE DEIDARA!!! GET THAT THROUGH YOUR FUCKING THICK SKULL YOU FUCKING COW!!!! NO ONE WILL EVER LOVE YOU!!!! YOU TOOK THINGS TOO FAR!!!"

"Then why did you kiss me?"

"BECAUSE WE WERE FUCKING REHEARSING FOR ROMEO AND JULIET YOU FUCKING SLUT!!! SEE!?!" Sasori pointed to his script. Sakura giggled.

"Oh, you're just saying that!!" She leaned forward, as if to kiss Sasori again. A loud crack echoed through the air as Sasori slapped her hard across the cheek. He couldn't think of a time when he had been angrier.

"DON'T YOU EVER TOUCH ME OR MY DEIDARA EVER AGAIN YOU FUCKING SLUT!!! GO KILL YOURSELF!!!"

Sakura recovered quickly.

"WELL HE ISN'T YOURS ANY MORE!!!"

"The bitch is right, ya know?"

Sasori looked to the door to see Woolfy leaning against the frame. For once she had a serious expression, and her eyes were blood red. In her hand she held a piece of paper and a blue pen. She was writing on it, reading allowed as she did so.

"'Deidara leaned against the wall, tears running from his eyes, his heart shattered into a million and two pieces. He suddenly felt a hand caress his back, gently and lovingly. "Deidara?" The blonde looked to see a certain red head. "Gaara, un?" Gaara nodded softly. "What happened?" Deidara looked away. "Sasori cheated on me…" Gaara's hand pulled away from his back and moved to his chin, making him face the red head. "That's Sasori for you…But you know, Dei, I would never cheat on you~" Deidara's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to reply. He was suddenly pulled into a passionate kiss. A kiss which he immediately returned.'"

Woolfy smirked and her red eyes flickered to Sasori's muddy brown pair. Sasori stared at her, horrified. He quickly pushed past Sakura, moving around the desk and ran past Woolfy, out the door. Woolfy chuckled to herself and walked into the room. She put the pen back to the paper.

"'And Sakura went and tried to kill herself. She failed and somehow ended up with Rock Lee, a fate worse than death.'"

Sakura rolled her eyes.

"As if I would-OH I DON'T WANT TO LIVE ANYMORE!!!" She ran out the room, crying.

Woolfy chuckled to herself and sat down at the desk.

"Anything to move the plot along."

She smirked and placed the pen back to the paper, continuing to write the future events.

XxX

Deidara leaned against the wall, tears running from his eyes, his heart shattered into a million and two pieces. He suddenly felt a hand caress his back, gently and lovingly.

"Deidara?" The blonde looked to see a certain red head.

"Gaara, un?"

Gaara nodded softly.

"What happened?"

Deidara looked away. "Sasori cheated on me…"

Gaara's hand pulled away from his back and moved to his chin, making him face the red head.

"That's Sasori for you…But you know, Dei, I would never cheat on you~"

Deidara's eyes widened and he opened his mouth to reply. He was suddenly pulled into a passionate kiss. A kiss which he immediately returned (Major De ja vu).

XxX

I wonder what will happen X3 It is up to Woolfy, I guess X3

Yeah, I know that Woolfy is indeed a bit of a Mary Sue (majorly in this Fan Fic) but really it is for humour purposes in this fan fic (In others I try to not make her a real major character)

Sozzy if I offended some Rock Lee fans, it was a joke for my friend Cherry since I know she hates him ^-^

Anyway

I wonder what is going to happen. I don't know~ Maybe Woolfy will turn goodie goodie again and put the plot right~ Pfffffffft, keep dreaming X3


	15. What You Own

**SasoDei – Sekkus Skato – Chapter 15**

**What You Own**

**(Warning- Swearing and Sexual ****References)**

Deidara was suddenly ripped away from Gaara. He heard a soft thud as the person placed their hand on the wall, dividing Gaara and Deidara. They had their back to Deidara, but the blonde knew who it was.

"DAMMIT SASORI! FUCK OFF ALREADY, UN! WHO DO YOU THINK YOU-"

Sasori's voice cut him off.

"Please don't take this as mean hearted, but are you on CRACK, or just RETARDED?"

Deidara's eyes widened.

Sasori was glaring hard at Gaara with a look that read 'He's mine'. Gaara challenged the look with a sneer. 'Just wait and see'.

Sasori's free hand moved to his back pocket, pulling out a rolled up bundle of papers. He held it behind him, to Deidara.

Deidara raised an eyebrow and took it, unrolling it. The top of it read 'Romeo and Juliet'.

"Remember Dei? I'm Romeo, and that bitch is Juliet. We were just practising. I just gave her a peck, but she then kissed me. Then you came in and got the wrong idea."

Deidara's eyes widened.

"D-Danna…"

"You're an idiot, Deidara. You actually thought that I would choose that bitch over you? Compared to you, she doesn't even exist."

Sasori took his hand off the wall. He turned 90 degrees and started walking down the hallway. Deidara bit his lip.

Gaara snickered.

"So you're just going to walk away? You're a wimp, Sas-"

Thud.

Gaara stared at the fist that had been blocked at the last second by his sand. His eyes met an angry blue pair.

Deidara pulled his hand away, still glaring.

"Don't you DARE call my Danna a wimp, un! Ass wipe."

Deidara spun on his heels and ran to catch up with Sasori.

Gaara glared for a good few seconds but then gave a sigh.

"There goes my last chance."

-x-

As Sasori walked back down the hall he adjusted his glasses.

"DANNA!"

Sasori stopped and turned to look.

Deidara flung his arms around Sasori, knocking them both to the ground. Deidara opened his mouth to talk but was cut off when he saw that Sasori's lips were graced with a smirk.

"You're way too easy."

Deidara gave an unamused expression and stood up.

"I hope you die, you cold hearted bastard."

Deidara turned to walk off but was suddenly pulled back to the ground. Sasori pressed his lips to Deidara's in a chaste kiss.

"You're sexy when you're mad at me."

Deidara smirked down at him.

"I guess we're even then, un."

"I guess."

Both of them stood up off the floor and dusted away imaginary dust.

"You know what, un? You're worse than Rasputin!"

Sasori smirked at him.

"So…A Sex Maniac or a Holy Man?"

Deidara smirked back at him.

"No one knows."

"So, you two are just going to fucking make up just like that?"

Both boys looked over at a new girl. She looked a lot like Woolfy, but had black hair, red eyes, and a red headband. She smirked at them.

"Name's Karis."

Deidara glared at her. Sasori face palmed.

"Why are there so many OCs in this story?"

Karis shrugged.

"We're fucking cool."

"WHY DOES EVERYONE MAKE IT THEIR LIFE'S GOAL TO BREAK THE FOURTH WALL IN THIS STORY, UN!"

Karis and Sasori shrugged, talking in unison.

"It's funny."

It was Deidara's turn to face palm.

Karis sniggered.

"So, anyway, you two are just gonna fucking make up, just like that! THAT IS WAY TOO FUCKING PREDICTABLE!"

"Does it look like we care, un?"

"YOU MIGHT NOT CARE, BUT THE READERS DO FUCKING CARE!"

Deidara looked at Sasori and Sasori looked back. They then looked back at the girl.

"So, what do we do to make the readers happy again and make the story non predictable, un?"

Karis smirked.

"Come on guys, let us exeunt and plan the next chapter off screen!"

They were about to disagree, when she just pushed them through a door way.

-x-

Woolfy continued to write the story.

"Okay, so the next chapter is probably going to be the last. Look forward to that, Readers. To fill up the chapter, while Sasori and Deidara plan out the last chapter, here is a side story."

Woolfy stared singing 'What You Own', from Rent.

-x-

Hidan snuck through the halls of Shinobi Institute, humming the Mission Impossible theme song.

Just a little more…

POOF!

The sports teacher appeared in front of him.

"STOP RIGHT THERE, MY YOUNG YOUTHFUL STUDENT!"

Might Guy.

Hidan quickly spun around and started running the other way, now starting to hum the tune louder.

POOF!

"Hidan, you can't ditch Ninja Training."

Kakashi Hatake.

Hidan cried out and ran the other way.

"WHAT IS THIS! THE TWILIGHT ZONE! JASHIN-SAMA WILL PUNISH YOU ALL!"

POOF!

"Your God is nothing compared to I, a Deity Nix."

The other, older, student blocked his path with his black angel wings.

Saviour Detinixy.

Hidan was about to give up when a voice called out.

"COME ON AKATSUKI! DON'T LEAVE ANYONE BEHIND!"

POOF!

Kakuzu appeared and grabbed Hidan, both of them disappearing in a puff of smoke. Hidan had been away when they had learnt how to teleport, but Kakuzu hadn't.

They appeared on the roof top, along with the rest of the Akatsuki (excluding Deidara, Sasori and of course Konan).

Hidan breathed out a sigh and pecked Kakuzu on the cheek.

"Thanks Kuzu, nearly got fucking caught!"

Pein smirked.

"Now that we've ditched Ninja Class, what do you want to do?"

The group was silent.

Tobi finally spoke up.

"Tobi doesn't know what to do…"

"**We really didn't think this through, **did we?"

Silence.

Itachi sighed. "What was the whole point in skipping class if we have nothing to do?"

Kisame shrugged. "What 'bout an Orgy?"

Pein face palmed.

"I refuse to sit here by myself while you all screw each other, so FUCK NO!"

They all sat in silence.

"…Why don't we all train to be fucking Ninjas?"

"YEAH! TOBI RECKONS THAT IS A GOOD IDEA, HIDAN-SEMPAI!"

The rest of them agreed and started training.

Kakashi, Guy and Saviour stared at them, sweat dropping.

"Their Youthfulness is confusing."

"What was the whole point in this story?"

Saviour sighed.

"Oh Mother, mercy on us if they _ever_ manage to take over the _World_."

And so, the Akatsuki trained to be Ninjas while missing Ninja Training…It wasn't till the next day that they actually realised that there was no real point in them skipping Ninja Training.

And so, the Akatsuki finally learned an important life lesson…They probably should have just had an orgy instead.

-x-

Don't forget, this story is for humour purposes and is mostly Crack.

A bit of a plotless side story X3 Saviour is one of my OCs whom I am planning to have in a novel I'm writing ^-^ It is funny, cause he is a bad guy, and his name is Saviour X3 Lolz

Anyway, I have the next chapter all planned out X3 It will most probably be the last chapter X3

So yeah, sorry for the lateness of this chapter, I did suffer a bit from Writers Block (The trouble with my stories is that I know where I wanna get to, but I don't know how I'm gonna get there) X3 So I just added in the side story to fill up the space X3

Anyway, hope you likey ^-^


	16. Do You Think We Could Fall In Love?

**SasoDei – Sekkus Skato – Chapter 16**

**Sometime, Do You Think We Could Fall In Love?**

Gaara smirked as he saw Sasori.

"Well, peace be with you, sir, here comes my man."

Deidara smirked as well.

"But I'll be hang'd, sir, if he wear you livery. Marry, go before to field, he'll be your follower; your worship in that sense may call him man, un."

Gaara smirked wider at Sasori.

"Romeo, the love I bear thee can afford no better term than this; thou art a villain!"

Sasori stepped back, out of the swords reach in case Gaara decided to draw it.

"Tybalt, the reason that I have to love thee doth much excuse the appertaining rage to such a greeting. Villain am I none, therefore farewell, I see thou knowest me not.

"Boy, this shall not excuse the injuries that thou hast done me, therefore turn and draw."

"I do protest I never injured thee, but love thee better than thou canst devise, till thou shalt know the reason of my love; and so, good Capulet, which name I tender as dearly as mine own, be satisfied."

Deidara frowned and stepped closer to Gaara.

"Oh calm, dishonourable, vile submission! 'Alla Stoccata' carries it away, un." Deidara drew his sword from his belt. "Tybalt, you rat catcher, will you walk?"

Gaara smirked.

"What wouldst thou have with me?"

Deidara spat between them and smirked once more.

"Good King of Cats, nothing, un, but one of your nine lives that I mean to make bold withal, and as you shall use me here after, dry-beat the rest of the eight. Will thou pluck your sword out of his Pilcher by the ears? Make haste, lest mine be about you ears ere it be out, un."

Gaara glared at Deidara.

"I am for you." Gaara drew his sharp sword as Deidara had done. Sasori's eyes widened.

"Gentle Mercutio, put thy rapier up."

Deidara rolled his eyes.

"Come, sir, your 'Passado'!"

Deidara and Gaara's swords clashed as they took to fighting. Sasori stared, helpless as they tried to kill each other.

"Draw, Benvolio, beat down their weapons." Woolfy didn't make a move. "Gentlemen, for shame forbear this outrage! Tybalt, Mercutio, the prince expressly hath forbid this bandying in Verona streets!" Sasori did the most stupid thing he had done in his entire life. He stepped between them. "Hold, Tybalt! Good Mercutio!"

Gaara's sword went under his arm and thrusted into Deidara's stomach. Gaara quickly let go of his sword and disappeared off stage with his followers.

Fake (convincing) blood ran from Deidara's wound. He pulled out the sword and dropped it onto the floor.

"I am hurt…A plague a' both houses! I am sped…Is he gone and hath nothing?"

Woolfy bit her lip. "What, art thou hurt?"

Deidara waved a hand faintly.

"Ay, ay, a scratch, a scratch, marry, un, 'tis enough. Where is my page? Go villain, fetch a surgeon!"

Deidara collapsed onto the floor. Sasori hurried to his side. The blonde managed to sit up and smirked at Sasori. Sasori gave a sorry smile.

"Courage, man, the hurt cannot be much."

"No, 'tis not so deep as a well, nor so wide as a church door, but 'tis enough, un, 'twill serve. Ask for me tomorrow and you shall find me a grave man. I am peppered, I warrant, for this world. A plague a' both your houses! 'Zounds, a dog, a rat, a mouse, a cat, to scratch a man to death, un! A Braggart a rogue, a villain, that fights by the book of arithmetic. Why the dev'l came you between us? I was hurt under your arm."

Sasori gave a sad expression and shook his head grimly.

"I thought all for the best."

"Help me into some house, Benvolio, or I shall faint. A plague a' both your houses! They have made worms' meat of me. I have it, and soundly too. Your houses!"

Woolfy ran off stage.

Deidara coughed up fake blood, leaning forward to lean on Sasori's shoulder.

"Why did'st thou chose thy slut Juliet over me?"

There was a murmur of confusion from the audience at the weird twist.

Sasori ran his hand threw Deidara's blonde hair.

"Does thou wish I had chosen otherwise?"

"I would'st with all my love."

"Then otherwise art chosen."

To the audiences shock, he pressed his lips to Deidara's. There were gasps and a few cheers.

Deidara pulled away from the kiss and stood up.

"MY TRUE LOVES KISS HATH SAVED ME FROM BECOMING THAT WHICH IS FEASTED UPON! COME, DEAREST ROMEO!" He pulled Sasori up and kissed him once more. He pulled apart from the kiss and smirked.

Sasori smirked back.

"Let us be off then, Good Mercutio, my Love. I shall leave the slut, for my heart does belongith to yee."

"I thought Yee was Medieval, not Elizabethan, un…"

Sasori shrugged.

"Let us be off then!"

They looked at the audience and bowed down low. One person stood up and cheered, clapping loudly. Others soon joined in until nearly everyone was cheering.

"DON'T CHEER FOR THEM! MY DEI-CHAN CANT BE GAY!" Deidara's mother growled.

"Come on mum, cheer up!"

She looked at Ino.

"Yeah mum, he is in love!"

She looked at her other daughter, Kurotsuchi. She then looked back at the stage where Sasori and Deidara were still bowing. For some reason the audience was throwing Roses at them (which was weird since they actually hadn't had roses before).

She stood up and joined in the ovation.

Sasori and Deidara ran off stage as Sakura stormed on stage, followed by Konan.

"WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE! IT IS CALLED ROMEO AND JULIET, NOT ROMEO AND MERCUTIO!" Someone from the audience threw a rock at her.

She screamed as they all started to boo, call her a slut and continued to randomly throw rocks at her. She ran off stage.

Konan cheered and ran front stage.

"THE WICKED BITCH IS NO LONGER HERE! LET YAOI LIVE!"

The crowd began to chant 'Yaoi' over and over.

Karis joined Konan on stage, grabbing the main Microphone.

"IT IS TIME FOR SOME MUSIC!"

The song 'Sometime, Do you think we could fall in Love?' (from Zanna Don't! Horray Yaoi! ), the karaoke for it anyway, began to play.

Sasori and Deidara walked back on stage, now in modern clothes.

They each had a Microphone and the crowd died down, awaiting the singing.

Deidara smirked.

"Tank, what are you doing?"

Sasori smirked back.

"I thought I'd spend my life alone, because my feelings felt so wrong, but now I've got the strength to be myself, since I heard you sing your song. I'm a sort of charming, some what handsome, not so princely guy, who wants desperately to be with you, if you'd only let me try. So tell me! Sometime do you think, we could fall in love? How bout this Sunday? Or is tomorrow soon enough? How bout to night then? Although I tell you I don't see how, I'm not gonna last that long if we don't fall in love right now."

"There you were, always right in front of me, so close to my heart, un, I simply couldn't see. There I was making all sorts of mistakes…"

"Hey! That's okay, sometimes that just what it takes."

"We've always played our songs for everyone else, un, in there own key."

"But maybe now we will get to play one, just for you and me?"

They started singing in sync.

"So tell me! Sometime do you think, we could fall in love? How bout this Sunday? Or is tomorrow soon enough? How bout to night then? Although I tell you I don't see how, I'm not gonna last that long unless we fall in love right now…I'm gonna last that long…Cause I'm falling in love…Right now~"

They both dropped their mics and locked lips once more.

The crowd stood up and cheered even louder than before.

-x-

Backstage Rock Lee walked up to Sakura.

"MY YOUTHFULNESS AND I STILL LOVE YOU SAKURA!"

Sakura randomly glomped Rock Lee.

-x-

Woolfy was rudely awoken the next day. She looked up at Deidara and Sasori, quirking an eyebrow.

"What is it? I'm sleeping~"

"We've decided that we're leaving, un."

"I know, I wrote it."

Deidara face palmed.

Sasori rolled his eyes, adjusting his sexy glasses.

"Well we have to tell the readers."

Woolfy and Sasori looked at Deidara, waiting for him to complain about the fourth wall breaking.

He shrugged.

"I just really don't care any more, un."

"Steve would be happy."

"Indeed."

Deidara glared at both of them.

"Anyway, we're leaving, we though that you should know, un."

"Both going to ride off into the Sunset, aye?"

Sasori and Deidara both looked at each other.

"Not really, Sunset is ages away."

Woolfy nodded.

"See ya, Bro. See ya Saso. I'd wish you the best of luck, but I don't need to since I control the entire story."

Deidara rolled his eyes.

"Such a Mary-"

Sasori clamped his hand down over Deidara's mouth.

"Such a Merry person is what he meant to say…"

Woolfy blinked and giggled.

"He better, or else."

Deidara nodded and Sasori unblocked his mouth.

"I guess this is good bye."

"Keep in touch."

Deidara shrugged.

"Maybe."

"Ahem…" Woolfy tapped her pencil to a blank piece of paper.

"I mean…Of course, un!"

"Good."

She placed the pencil back down and leaned on the table.

"Now, I'm going to sleep. Nighty Night."

"…It's 10 in the morning…" She was already asleep.

Sasori and Deidara looked at each other and shrugged, exiting the room.

-x-

The two exited the school, walking over to Sasori's car.

"I never knew you had a car, un."

Sasori shrugged.

"Neither did I, Brat. Neither did I."

They hopped into the blue car.

"So, where should we go, un?"

"Firstly we got to meet the rest of the Akatsuki. Then we will all probably do something like, take over the world, or create a million dollar company which we will call…McDonalds."

"McDonalds? I don't think it will ever catch on."

Sasori shrugged and started the car.

"Take over the world it is."

He leaned over and kissed Deidara on the lips.

After he pulled away, Deidara smirked.

"Pervert, un."

"I'm not a Pervert."

"You're right, un. You're a pervert with sexy glasses."

Sasori rolled his eyes and they drove out of the school parking lot. Deidara looked out the window at the school oval, which no longer was divided by a fence.

"There is still one thing that is bugging me though…"

"What is that, Dei?"

"Why am I still wearing a Skirt, un?"

Sasori smirked.

"Sex Skirt."

"Sekkus Skato, un."

They both smirked at each other, driving off into the distance.

Eventually, instead of taking over the world, the Akatsuki opened a burger restaurant called McDonalds and became Millionaires.

And so, they all lived Happily ever after…Except for Sakura. The End.

-x-

I wasn't really sure how to end it *shrugs*

Extra long chapter X3

Anyone, this is finally finished XD Horrah!

Okie dokie, hope you likey ^-^


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